Jebediah Springfield
Jebediah Springfield
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Character Information
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Jebediah Obadiah Zachariah Jedediah Springfield is the purported historical founder of the town of Springfield.
Contents
Fame
Springfield had many famous quotations, such as “A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man,” and was well known for his silver tongue (literally; a metal prosthetic tongue, his original tongue having been bitten off by a Turkish pirate in a grog house fight). He also wears a coonskin cap.
Riviarly with Shellbyville Manhattan
Springfield led a band of wagons westward along with his partner Shelbyville Manhattan (they had misinterpreted a passage of the Bible and were looking for “New Sodom”); but they parted ways over political differences. Manhattan wanted to found a town where people could marry their cousins, but Springfield wanted a town devoted to chastity, abstinence, and a flavorless mush he called "root-marm." Manhattan went on to found the rival town of Shelbyville.
Buildings
In the winter of 1807, Jebediah reportedly built Springfield’s first hospital alone out of wood and mud.
True Identity
On an expedition to Springfield’s historic “Fort Springfield,” Bart Simpson uncovered inconsistencies in the Jebediah legend. In “Lisa the Iconoclast,” Lisa Simpson proved that “Jebediah Springfield” was a bloodthirsty pirate and enemy of George Washington named Hans Sprungfeld, who had changed his name in 1795 to hide his identity. Before he died, he wrote his confession on a scrap of paper that formed the “missing piece” of the famously incomplete portrait of George Washington.
Animal Encounters
Springfield is said to have dramatically killed a bear with his bare hands, though revisionist historians have determined the bear in fact probably killed him. A statue of this sits in the center of the Springfield town square, in front of the city hall. He is also said to have once tamed an un-tamable buffalo (although he later secretly admitted that it had already been tame; he merely shot it).
Dedications
The Springfield Marathon commemorates an occasion on which he ran across six states in order to avoid his creditors.
Head falling off
In “The Telltale Head,” Bart beheaded the statue, thinking that this would make him more popular. In reality, the town became depressed and angry, leaving Bart to endure “The Tell-Tale Heart”-style guilt before replacing it. The video game The Simpsons Road Rage references this episode: if one rams the statue while playing, the head will fall off. This can also be done in The Simpsons Hit and Run where Bart or Apu can kick or ram Jebediahs head off.
