The Day the Violence Died (Medley)

The Amendment Song is a parody of the popular Schoolhouse Rock! song "I'm Just a Bill," even going so far as using the original singer, Jack Sheldon. It is briefly shown as a replacement for Itchy & Scratchy on The Krusty the Clown Show in the episode The Day the Violence Died. Both the music and lyrics were written by John Swartzwelder. It is the eleventh track on the album Songs in the Key of Springfield.

Lyrics

Krusty:

Well, Itchy & Scratchy are gone. But here's a cartoon that tries to make learning fun. (laughs and then groans) Sorry about this kids, but we have some real good toy commercials coming up. I swear!

Kid:

Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of congress?

Amendment:

I'm not garbage.

I'm an Amendment-to-Be,

Yes, an Amendment-to-Be,

And I'm hopin' that they'll ratify me.

There's a lot of flag burners

Who have got too much freedom,

I wanna make it legal

For policemen to beat 'em.

'Cos there's limits to our liberties,

Least I hope and pray that there are,

'Cos those liberal freaks go too far.

Kid:

Why can't we just make a law against flag burning?

Amendment:

Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we change the Constitution—

Kid:

Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws.

Amendment:

Now you're catching on.

Bart:

What the hell is this?

Lisa:

It's one of those campy '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation X-ers.

Bart:

We need another Vietnam, then out their ranks a little.

Kid:

What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?

Amendment:

Then I'll crush all opposition to me,

And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay.

If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay.

Congressman:

Great news, Amendment! They ratified ya! You're in the U.S. Constitution!

Amendment:

Oh yeah! Doors open, boys!

(various amendments storm the steps of congress whooping, cheering and bringing guns and bombs)

Lisa:

So it's true! Some cartoons do encourage violence! (hits Bart)

Bart:

Ow!