Honest Abe

For Grampa's wrestling alter-ego, see Honest Abe.

Honest Abe

Tapped Out Quest Information

Honest Abe is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the 4th July 2013 content update. It requires Abraham Lincoln and Lincoln's Cabin to be obtained.

Dialogue

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
	Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers--
	WHAT THE? WHERE DID GETTYSBURG GO? WHAT LAND IS THIS, AND WHAT’S WITH ALL THE BLUE HOUSES?
	Good glaven, it’s Abraham Lincoln!
	The cashing-in of so many expensive donuts must have opened a wormhole to the past, ensnaring our sixteenth President!
	By Jingo, my good nerd! Are you talking about t-t-t-t…time travel?
	I am. Tell me -- in your own time period, have you ever had contact with the ancestors of the Simpsons?
	He did once. It was only a few lines of dialog, though. It’s kind of hard to see how that justifies him appearing here.
	It does seem odd. Odd and desperate!
	This is a lot to digest. I need to relax, by doing the funnest, most rewarding activity in the world…
Task: "Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails". The task takes place at Lincoln's Cabin and takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
	r. Lincoln, did you know that our country now has its first African-American president? Pretty amazing, huh?
	Well, it took you long enough. I would’ve thought it’d happen by 1920. 1930 at the latest.
	Well, there were some setbacks along the way...
	No, no! You all go right on patting yourselves on the back for being a bit less racist after 150 years. Well done. Seriously, you guys rock.
	Uh… hey look! Over there! Unsplit rails!
	Unsplit rails? Let me at ‘em!
Task: "Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails". The task takes place at Lincoln's Cabin and takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
	So when do I get to go back to my own time?
	Soon. I just need to de-gloiven the hoyvenmaven, then it’s a simple matter of breaking every law of the physical universe, and pressing this big red button.
	Excellent. Really looking forward to finishing up the Civil War, serving my term in office, then enjoying a long retirement.
	...
	What? What did I say? Why are you looking at me all weird?
Task: "Make Abraham Lincoln Feel Paranoid". The task takes place at Lincoln's Cabin and takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
	How come every time I mention how much I’m looking forward to retiring, starting an alpaca farm and living to a ripe old age, people get awkward and change the subject?
	So… how IS the weather in D.C. this time of year?
	Now you’re doing it! Why? Are alpacas not a sound investment?
	You can be honest -- I’m not married to the idea. It just seemed like a fun way to pass my many, many Golden Years.
	...
Task: "Make Abraham Lincoln Feel Paranoid". The task takes place at Lincoln's Cabin and takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
	kay, something terrible happens to me sometime after I go back to 1865. What is it?
	kay, something terrible happens to me sometime after I go back to 1865. What is it?
	Then I’ll use your public library to find the answer for myself!
Tasks: "Reach level 12 and Build Springfield Library" and "Make Abraham Lincoln Research Abraham Lincolns Fate". The task takes place at Springfield Library and takes 24 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
	Unbelievable! Your library stocks nothing but romance novels and books of something called “Sudoku.”
	That’s all anyone reads anymore.
	Kid, you gotta tell me what happens to me. Am I in danger? Do I die or something? Because I will do literally ANYTHING to prevent that.
	Nothing is more precious to me than my life. I would gladly let the South win the war if it meant five seconds more of precious, precious living for Honest Abe.
	History remembers what a huge coward I was, right?
	Uh… no. We have a pretty high opinion of you.
	Great. Listen, I’m gonna get this beard trimmed. While I do, I suggest you seriously reconsider telling me the truth!
Tasks: "Reach level 15 and Build Jake's Unisex Hair Palace" and "Make Abraham Lincoln Get a Beard Trim" The task takes place at Jake's Unisex Hair Palace and takes 60 minutes.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
	Mr. Lincoln, I’ll make a deal.
	’ll tell you what happens to you if, as one of history’s greatest debaters, you give a few pointers to Springfield Elementary’s Debate Team.
	Sure. Make your President jump through hoops before you answer a simple question. How patriotic of you.
	I’m precocious. It’s not a crime.
	Well, when I get back I’m gonna MAKE it one. We’ll call it the Lisa Simpson Amendment.
Task: "Make Abraham Lincoln Coach the Springfield Elementary Debate Team". The task takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 12 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
	Okay, Mr. Lincoln -- a deal’s a deal. Here’s what happens to you. On the night of April 14, 1865…
	You know what? If what I’ve seen of Springfield is typical of the rest of America in 2014, let some other sucker preserve this crappy Union. I’m staying here.
	I’m afraid we can’t let you do that, Mr. President.
	Yeah, well good luck catching me. Lincoln away!
Task: "Make Lincoln Run For It!". The task takes place at Lincoln's Cabin and takes 12 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln 's exclamation mark
	Man, that Lincoln guy is fast! Did you see where he went, pal?
	Uh, no! By my top hat, mustache-less beard and frock coat, I haven’t seen anyone matching the description of this “Abraham Lincoln.”
	Hey, you’re the him I was talking about!
	Drat! I need to modernize my look!
Task: "Make Abraham Lincoln Attempt to Blend In". The task takes 24 hours.
	Good day, kind sir. I wish to purchase a beverage from your fine establishment.
	I have never encountered such a polite customer. I can only assume there is something deeply wrong with you. Please do not kill me.
	You’ve got it all wrong! I’m just an average American from this time period. Like everybody, I enjoy “man caves,” candy and debilitating laziness.
	Wait! I know you! You are the man from the Take-a-Penny-Leave-a-Penny tray!
	Curses! I must remember to be as rude and boorish as the rest of these horrible people.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
	If it isn’t my boyhood pal, Abraham! Fancy meeting you here!
	Hiya, Monty. Could you keep your voice down? I’m kind of lying low.
	Of course. Say, didn’t something happen with you at a theater a few years back? I thought I heard that.
	No, I’m fine now. Listen, do you think I could hole up at your place for a few years? Just until the heat dies down.
	I suppose that could be arranged. If someone were to take an interest in the large pile of unsplit rail in my backyard.
	It's a deal!
Task: "Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails". The task takes place at Lincoln's Cabin and takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: 200 and 20

view • talk • edit • past The Simpsons: Tapped Out 4th July 2013 quests

Happy 4th of July • Honest Abe • Lincoln Overtime • Paranoid Android • The Rocket's Red Glare