Bart's Dog Gets an "F"/Quotes

Quotes

Season 2 Episode Quotes

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028

"Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

029
"Bart's Dog Gets an F"

"Old Money"

030

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Marge is at a typewriter

Marge: "Homer, cannot we wait to make this advertisement until after the dog flunks out of obedience school?"

Homer: "No Marge, we have to commit ourselves! Have the ad say 'Kind, faithful dog for sale. Says I love you on command...in three languages'!"

Marge gives her annoyed sigh at Homer's blatant attempt at false advertising

:Mrs. Winthrop's office. Bart enters with a leashed Santa's Little Helper

Bart: "Mrs. Winthrop, may I have a minute of your time?"

Mrs. Winthrop motions for Bart to have a seat

Bart:"Look, I was thinking, since you are paid whether Santa's Little Helper fails or passes, why not just pass my dog anyway?"

Emily Winthrop: "Oh I get it. Lick a stamp on it, thank you very much, next please!"

Bart:"Yup!"

Emily Winthrop{sighing}: "Heavens to Murgatroyd! Bart, perhaps I cling to the old ways like a well-chewed shoe while the traditions I was weaned on are either neutered or put to sleep one by one."

Bart stares at her blankly as if she implies resignation

Emily Winthrop{stern tone}: "But my time has not yet passed! The world does not need another college graduate who does not know how to sit!"

Santa's Little Helper fails to respond to the command

Emily Winthrop: "Pull the chain."

Bart: "What?"

Emily Winthrop: "Correct the dog."

Bart:"I do not want to strangle my dog."

Emily Winthrop: "PULL THE BLOODY CHAIN, BOY!"

An intimidated Bart pulls Santa's Little Helper's leash, who yelps then collapses on the floor

Bart: "I am sorry, boy. It is not your fault you are so dumb."

:Homer is with a grizzled farmer, who is testing Santa's Little Helper by grabbing underneath his legs

Homer: "I do not want to give him up, but I am moving to a foreign country where dogs are forbidden."

Farmer: "No problem, I can put him to good use on my farm. You know, other farmers say only mules can pull plows. Impatient people would not make a dog do it. Patient people know otherwise."

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