Secrets of a Successful Marriage/Quotes

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Quotes

	Season 5 Episode Quotes
← 102 "Lady Bouvier's Lover"	103 "Secrets of a Successful Marriage"	"Bart of Darkness" 104 →

Homer: "Okay, the first thing they told me to do was to make sure everyone's in the right class."

(Someone in the class spits tobacco at him)

Homer: "Down the hall. Room 12."

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Lisa: (visiting Homer in the treehouse) "Here, Dad. I brought you some nice ... aah!"

(Homer has made a model of Marge; a tall plant to match her hairstyle, with a paper plate face stuck to it)

Homer: "Good news, Lisa. I don't need your mother anymore. I've created a replacement that's superior to her in almost every way!"

Lisa: "Dad, that's just a plant."

Homer: "Lisa! You will respect your new mother. Now, give her a kiss! KIIIIISS HER!"

(Homer thrusts the plant in Lisa's face and accidentally drops it out of the treehouse, where it breaks on the ground below)

Homer: "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God! Okay, let's get our story set. She tripped, right?"