Bart Simpson - Secret Agent, Man/Quotes

Quotes

Edna Krabappel: With all the chemistry knowledge that went into this, you'd think he'd have proofread it.

Principal Skinner: Are we sure that plume is coming from the chemistry lab?

Groundskeeper Willie: That plume is the chemistry lab. Ye better do something before El Barto "striks" again.

Principal Skinner: Simpson, I'd like a word with you.

Bart: Uh, have you checked with my appointments secretary?

Principal Skinner: Your schedule seems light right now.

Bart: I didn't do it. You can't prove it was me. I plead insanity.

Principal Skinner: Simpson, we have quite a file on you.

Bart: Is it in that filing cabinet?

Principal Skinner: It is that filing cabinet!

Bart: Who are you?

Agent K: Call me Agent K. I'm your guardian angel.

Bart: A guardian angel in a leather cat suit. Now that's progress!

S: We've been keeping an eye on you for some time, Mr. Simpson. We have quite a file on you.

Bart: Is it in that filing cabinet?

S: It is that filing cabinet!

Agent K: What do you know about "macguffium"?

Bart: It's a tiny principality, located in the Alps, that was founded by vassals of the Holy Roman Empire in the early 1700s. Its main exports are chocolate and laxatives.

S: Impressive, but you're thinking of Liechtenstein.

Bart: Do I get a spy name?

S: No. All of our new agents use a codename which is an acronym for "Basic Assignment Rookie Trainee".

Bart: So that makes me... Codename: B.A.R.T.

Bart: Mr. Moleman? Why are you wearing an overcoat in 90 degree weather?

Hans Moleman: A strange man put it on me. I need my medication. Will you help me--

Bart: No time. Spying.

Bart: That tattoo! Where did you get it?

Princess Kashmir: Oh, that? A strange man put it on me.

Bart: Really? Strange men. Weird tattoos. Doesn't that seem a little unusual for an exotic dancer?

Princess Kashmir: Dancer? I gave that up months ago when I got my real estate license.

Bart: You're a realtor? Dressed like that?

Princess Kashmir: Sure. I sell twice as many houses like this than when I wear the silly red jacket.

Bart: What?! I gotta spy with my sister? If they thought I needed help, why didn't they send Hilary Duff?

Bart: Danger is my middle name.

Lisa: That's a relief. All these years I thought it was "Jo-Jo".

Bart: Where are we?

Mr. Burns: You're in my torture chamber, of course. Every power plant has one.

Waylon Smithers: Sir, they're getting away.

Mr. Burns: Throw your metal hat at them.

Smithers: I only have one hat, and it's made of taffeta, sir.

Mr. Burns: Then bite them with your platinum-plated teeth or use voodoo on them or something!

Bart: Just a minute. I still have one question.

S: You do?

Bart: Yes. What does the "S" stand for?

S: Nothing. I mean, it's my real name. Uh, Stanley. No, Sidney.

Bart: I think it stands for... Seymour!

Principal Skinner: Very well, Simpson. You're on to me. But how did you know?

Bart: Your shoes. I've stuck matches, thumb-tacks, and glue balls to those hush puppies enough to know them in my sleep.

Principal Skinner: But did you also suspect that Agent K was actually Mrs. Krabappel?

Bart: What? Mrs. Krabappel? [GAK!] And I thought you were hot!

Bart: So when Groundskeeper Willie pushed me off the cliff, I wasn't really in any danger?

Principal Skinner: No, Willie wasn't in on the program. He was acting alone.