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Burns' manor

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Revision as of 11:00, April 17, 2010 by Alexandersig (talk)
Burns Manor
300px
Location Information
Use: Residential
Owner: Mr. Burns

Burns Manor is Mr. Burns mansion where he resides. It used to hold the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Annual Picnic. It is located at 1000 Mammon Street, on the corner of Croesus and Mammon streets in the Springfield Heights district. It is protected by a high wall, an electrified fence, and a pack of vicious attack dogs known as "The Hounds" one; of whom is named Winston. In addition he has at least one 30+ yr old dog named Crippler. Crippler is known for bagging hippies - something they don't find too groovy at all. At times he has employed for protection a force of Wizard of Oz - style guards, a personal paramilitary force, a riot police squad, and a robotic Richard Simmons.

The inside of the mansion includes a room containing a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters, a bottomless pit, a human chess board, the largest television in the free world, a 'Hall of Patriots' commemorating his ancestors, a laboratory, a botanical garden of vultures bearing his likeness, a safe containing a Beefeater guard, and a theater showing round-the-clock plays regardless of whether there is an audience, for such a large mansion, it has a surpisingly small basement, seemingly no larger than the basement in the Simpsons home.

The mansion is also home to many rare historical artifacts including the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in, King Arthur's mythical sword Excalibur, and a rare first draft of the Constitution with the word "suckers" in it.

He also has a large wine cellar enterable through the back of the mansion, the stairway has heads of a Dodo, Saber-toothed Tiger, Tyrannosaurus Rex, all of which are extinct, and a skeleton of a tresspasser hung up on the wall. The wine cellar itself has hundreds of wine bottles, including a massive 60,000 dollar bottle of wine which Homer drunk.

He also has a room filled with priceless paintings, including The Concert by Vermeer which was stolen in March 1990. It is considered the most valuable painting ever stolen with an estimated value of 200 million dollars. Chief Wiggum and Lou arrested Burns for the burglary and most likely confiscated the painting.

Appearances

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