Prince and The Premise

Prince and The Premise

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 6 Update: Clash of Clones Requirement(s): myPad

Prince and The Premise is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Clash of Clones content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After starting the update New Character: Barbarian GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUNT! Loot! Pillage! Burn! Take! Abscond! Steal! Scream synonyms! Hey there yella fella, why are you giving an extra helping of beat down to my blue bottles? Me am barbarian. Must pillage and destroy! You're not from around here, are you Mr. Barbarian? Barbarian am from another land! Tell me about the far-away place! It am land where violence rules! Where me drink from skull of enemy! Where me poop through butt of enemy! That's a little too much TMI! Well, sir, since you've got an appetite for destruction, instead of axing my rose bushes, why not Slash this house next door? Barbarian appreciate your Guns 'N' Roses references. Barbarian will pillage 742 Evergreen Terrace! Task: "Make Barbarian Attack the Simpson House". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 60 minutes. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After tapping on the Barbarian's exclamation mark Smash! Loot! Pillage! Wreck! What gives? That's my house you're smashing. GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUNT! Chief Wiggum, I need you to physically subdue this axe-wielding muscular giant who clearly is a master of hand-to-hand combat! Sorry Simpson, that's a big no can do. In that there's no possible way I can do it, thus the term, “no can do.” GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUNT! Come on Grunty, knock it off. That's my house -- where I eat and sleep and look at magazines and stuff. GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUNT! The pillaging, I get. Who wouldn't want all my awesome stuff? Like my extra-thick TV, my dozens of hidden mini-fridges, and all those magazines I mentioned earlier. GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUNT! But hear me out -- you are in serious danger of over-pillaging. GRUNT? GRUNT? GRUNT? That's right, over-pillaging. You pillage all this fantastic stuff, but you have nowhere to put it. Then it gets rained on, and the ants get into it, and it's Hibbert's shed all over again. Everything's ruined and you wasted all that great pillaging. GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUNT! What you need is a place to keep all the great stuff you pillaged. Grunt, grunt… storage locker? No, those storage places always rip you off. What you need is a castle! Grunt, grunt, GRUNT! Task: "Build the Barbarian Castle". It takes 16 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on the Barbarian's exclamation mark Grunt, grunt, grunt? What's wrong, barbarian buddy? Barbarian need fighters to pillage for Barbarian! Oh, I get it. Someone to do the dirty work for you. They do all the getting killed, you get all the mini-fridges. Grunt, grunt, exactly. Well, this town isn't exactly full of big muscle-y ass-whompers like yourself. But it is full of… nerds! Grunt, grunt, nerds? A whole bunch of medieval dorks are always playing with fake swords in the park. I bet they'd love to go raiding with a real disemboweling skull-drinker like yourself. The only problem is… those nerds wouldn't stand a chance. They'd be totally slaughtered. Barbarian would never send nerds to pointless deaths. ... ... Grunt, grunt, KIDDING! You had me there for a sec. You totally had me. Message Here are 10 free nerds to follow your every command. Send them to attack other towns. Just don't get too attached to them! *evil laugh* Task: "Attack Another Springfield". I must say Mr. Barbarian, you’re doing a wonderful service for these young gentlemen. Huh? I’m told you’re planning a vigorous exercise program. No. Me send them to deaths. More than they deserve. But aren't they doing you a favor by retrieving valuable items for you? Raid takes time. Attack with more nerds destroy building faster. When more nerds attack, is harder to defend. More dead nerds equals more good for me. Um… did you just say…? DEAD NERDS EQUALS MORE GOOD FOR ME!!! I need a bag of salted cashews. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Excuse me, Homer. A tiny favor… What are you doing here? I don't come to where you work and ask you for things. You come to the church every Sunday and pray for a new car. Nice, I see what you did there. Classic reversal. Although, to be fair, it was a pretty solid set up on my part. You've got to talk to your barbarian friend. He and his gang of nerds have been looting and pillaging all over town. They stole Patty and Selma's menopause medication. Those two without their woman hormones? That oughta be good for a larf! The horde destroyed Chester's shed -- he was finally this close to finishing it. Poor old Chester, always good for a larf. The barbarians and nerds savagely beat the Yes-Man, leaving him with permanent brain damage. Trust me, with that guy there wasn't much brain left to damage. Savage beatings, always good for a larf. You've got to do something! But all the stuff you're saying is good for a larf! Why would I want to stop larfs? Then I guess you wouldn't care that the Barbarian stole Ned Flanders' wet-dry vac. That's not good for a larf! Hey, you, helmet head! There's only one person who steals from Ned Flanders in this town -- and that's me! Grunt, grunt, you've got to be kidding. Give Flanders back his wet-dry vac -- or else! But wet-dry vac am good for cleaning up blood AND guts. Put the wet-dry vac back! Grunt, grunt, what if I don't? Then grunt grunt I kick your grunt! Task: "Make Homer Attack Barbarian". The job takes place at the Barbarian Castle and takes 6 seconds. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Barbarian's exclamation mark Task: "Make Barbarian Chase Homer with an Axe". The job takes 2 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 6

After completing Pt. 5 Well, you chased me for 2 hours, and you finally caught me. You better runner than I thought. Well, I guess it's time for you to chop off my head. Soon me drink from your skull! Drink, eh? Say Barbie, before you decapitate me, scrape all the flesh off my head, boil the bones to a nice chalky-white, then seal up all the little head holes to keep the liquid from leaking… what say I buy you a beer? GRUNT, GRUNT, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING 'BOUT!!! If Moe's Tavern is owned: Task: "Make Homer Drink at Moe's". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Barbarian Drink at Moe's". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern and takes 8 hours. If Moe's Tavern is not owned: Task: "Make Homer Drink with Barbarian". The job takes place at the Barbarian Castle and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Barbarian Drink with Homer". The job takes place at the Barbarian Castle and takes 8 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 7

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Have to admit, beer from mug better than beer from skull. Skull beer always taste like old head meat. Even if you boil the skull for a long time? No matter how long me boil skull, still am taste hint of brain. You're just full of interesting trivia. Which Springfield are you from? Am not from Springfield. Am from… other game. So we just admit now that we know we live in a game? No more pretense? Why lie to selves? Is insult to players' intelligence. Yeah, okay. That makes things easier. So, tell me about the game you come from. Is called “Clash of Castles.” Barbarians attack other towns, destroy everything, kill everyone, and pillage gold and elixir. So that explains the pillaging. Is all me know. Your Clash of Castles game sounds awesome. I have to admit, I'm getting a little bored of my game. It's pretty vanilla. Everything's so wussy here. “Valentine's Day Hearts”? “Friendship Points?” And don't get me started on those (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Easter fences!!! Your game sounds a million times better than my game! And so much more addicting. Like I'd totally ignore my town to play in your world. Yeah, me guess it's okay… What's the income tax rate on pillaging? Zero. Federal and state? Us drink from skull of tax collector so yeah. Nice games are so boring! Rated “E” for Everybody -- more like “L” for Lamewads Losers and Larrys! Larry is this guy who used to really annoy everyone. He wore huge t-shirts that looked like dresses. Him sound like wiener. I never get to kill anyone! Not even a Squeaky Voice Teen or a Wise Guy! Killing am big rush, no lie. 20 more beers over here, Moe! If Moe's Tavern is owned: Task: "Make Homer Drink 10 More Beers". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern and takes 60 minutes. Task: "Make Barbarian Drink 10 More Beers". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern and takes 60 minutes. If Moe's Tavern is not owned: Task: "Make Homer Drink 10 More Beers". The job takes place at the Barbarian Castle and takes 60 minutes. Task: "Make Barbarian Drink 10 More Beers". The job takes place at the Barbarian Castle and takes 60 minutes. Can me tell you something? Anything, pal. Me am jealous -- of you! *spit-take* Me tired of kill kill kill, pillage pillage pillage, grunt grunt grunt. Sometimes, me just want put feet by fire and drink from skull of enemy with someone me love. Me want do Sunday crossword puzzle in bed then go to brunch, not slaughter castle full of archers and wizards. See, I would love to bathe in wizard blood. Me would love stay home watch “The Bachelor” eating low calorie popcorn. I guess each of us would love to have the other guy's life. Yes, that am situation. Hey guys, did you know that when the Barbarian here takes off his helmet, he looks just like Homer. OMG -- Oh my God! It's true! OMC -- Oh my Crom! Us am twins! You guys should switch places and live each other's lives, just like that classic piece of literature: “Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties”. Switch places? That sounds hacky. No, no it's cool. The same happened to Bart in one of the episodes of the TV show this whole thing is based on. Us game not based on TV show. Am original IP. Must be nice. So it's agreed, I'll live the life of a Barbarian, and you'll live the life of a family man! Me still think this am hacky, but am worth it. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 8

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark To be me, all you have to do is shave that mustache. You must turn all that fat to muscle. Task: "Collect Gold" (x200). Task: "Make Homer Bulk Up". The job takes place at a Krusty Burger and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Barbarian Get a Haircut". The job takes place at Jake's Unisex Hair Palace or the Barbarian Castle and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer and Barbarian Switch Places". The job takes place at the Barbarian Castle and takes 45 seconds. Upon sending Homer to "Bulk Up" Oh no you don't, sky finger. No way. Not working out. Uh-uh. There's got to be another way to bulk me up. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 9

After tapping on Homer Barbarian's exclamation mark Greetings ugly boy! Huh? Me am your father. Bow before father! Guh? Show respect for father's prowess with axe and skill in battle… I mean, parenting. Dad, what's wrong with you? You seem… intense. And your speech is much more halting than usual. Bow before father or me crush your neck! Okay, that's more like it. Task: "Make Homer Barbarian Pretend to Be a Sitcom Dad". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours. Boy whelp think me am Homer, but girl whelp am clever. What father do to win affection of girl? Me know! Me give her life lessons in backbreaking labor. Child! I command you to build a castle. A castle? I suppose this could be a good exercise in medieval construction. Can I use eco-friendly materials? Ask mother. Being father am easy. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 10

After tapping on Homer Barbarian's exclamation mark Boy want sharpen father's axe with father? I don't feel like it… Something bothering boy? This bully at school, he took my Krusty doll. Bully steal from son of… what my name again? Homer Simpson. Bully steal from son of Homer Simpson?! Homer Simpson cleave bully in twain! Sweet. Task: "Reach Level 9 Build Springfield Elementary". Task: "Make Homer Barbarian Chase Bully with an Axe". The job requires Nelson and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10