The Simpsons: Tapped Out Blargsgiving content update/Gameplay

You Don't Make Friends With (Fruit) Salad

After the user logs in on November 18th: Homie, could you run to the store to pick up a few things for Thanksgiving dinner tonight? But Marge, if I leave now, I won't know who wins the big game! And going into the fourth quarter, the Shelbyville Sharks lead the Springfield Atoms fifty-six to zero. I think it's safe to say we know who will win the big game. *sigh* I guess I'll just go pick up the ingredients for the fruit salad myself. Fruit salad? Never! The only fruit I'll be eating this Thanksgiving will come in canned form. Delectable cranberry sauce. The one time of year dessert comes with the main course instead of after. I didn't buy any cranberry sauce this year. I told you, we're having fruit salad. WHAT?! No Thanksgiving dinner is gonna get served without cranberry sauce on my watch! I'm heading to the store! I thought you said you couldn't leave because you were watching the game? That was before you threatened me with fruit salad. Also I don't really care about the game. I just didn't want to get off the couch. If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Grumble Under Her Breath (6s, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Homer Hunt for Cranberry Sauce (6s, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House) Okay. Don't panic. So what if they're sold out of cranberry sauce at Costmo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Eatie-Gourmet's... Sprawl-Mart, Li'l Valu-Mart, Kwik-E-Mart, Speed-E-Mart, Newfangled Kwik-E-Mart, and Springfield Hunting Supplies? I'm sure I'll find some...somewhere. I guess I could try Swapper Jack's, but that's a health food store... But cranberries are in smoothies, which are healthy, and people drink smoothies after they exercise... And exercise burns calories, and burning is what you do with tires, and...wait, where was I? Quest reward: 100 and 10

Cranberry Calamity

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 1

After completing You Don't Make Friends With (Fruit) Salad: Of course I can't find a parking space! This place is the worst. And why is everyone so happy here? Don't these people know they're buying health food?! Focus, Homer. We've got a job to do. And by God we're gonna do it! Eegh. What is this stuff? Swapper O's? Swapper Jack's Okra Chips? Just my luck. Even this place doesn't have any cranberry sauce. *sigh* I guess I'll go tell the family Thanksgiving is cancelled this year. *psst* You there. Yeah, you in the tight-fitting mustard-stained shirt. Hey, at least I'm not ten feet tall with three legs. Oh my God, you're an alien! I always knew there was something fishy about Swapper Jack's! I've travelled back through time and space to experience a traditional Earth Thanksgiving. It's the holiday that will one day inspire Blargsgiving on our planet. Wait a minute...you speak English? No, I'm mind-melding into your brain. It's much more efficient. Now, did I hear you say you were looking for cranberry sauce? You have some?! Not here. Meet me out back in fifteen Earth minutes. Fifteen Earth minutes? How long is that in my time? Fifteen minutes. You could have just said that. Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x155] If the user has Blarg Alien: Task: Make Blarg Alien Meet Homer (4h, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House) Task: Make Homer Go Around Back (4h, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House) I have a gift for you, Deluxe Earthling. This is a "special" cranberry sauce from my future world. Looks pretty good... But there's so little of it. Maybe now, but this sauce will replicate whenever it's fed bones. That means you can have as much cranberry sauce as you like. But heed this warning. NEVER feed it any bones from living creatures. Only bones that are long dead. Do you understand what I have told you? Gimme the sauce, gimme the sauce! I'll take that as a yes. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 2

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 1: So, definitely not enough cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving dinner. But that alien in the alley said I just need to feed it bones and it'll replicate. And when have I ever been known to ignore life advice acquired in an alley? Greetings, Homer. I didn't know you were a patron of "the Swapper". Wow, look at the size of that bone in your hair! Hey, Mel, I'll give you fifty bucks for that thing. I beg your pardon? This bone is one hundred percent authentic Albino Chupacabra. And I should say is worth a fair bit more than fifty dollars. Sixty. Deal! You just paid for my entire "Swapping" excursion. Toodles! Okay, crazy alien sauce, time to do your stuff! Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x115] Task: Make Homer Feed Mel's Bone to the Sauce (4h, Swapper Jack's or Brown House) Look at all this cranberry sauce! This'll feed everyone! Or at least me. But...what if my family eats all this delicious sauce... There'd be none for leftovers tomorrow. I know! I'll go dig up graves at Springfield Cemetery and use those bones! It's the only logical next step. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 3

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 2: Um, Homer? Why are you covered in grave dirt? And what's this giant bog of cranberry sauce doing in the garage? What, this? This has been here forever. You're really losin' it, Marge. Mmm-hmm. Well, go get cleaned up. My sisters just got here. Really? Hey Patty and Selma! Come out to the garage! I did something you'll want to belittle me for! Oh, this'll be good. C'mon, Selma. It sounds like Christmas came a little early this year. Come on in, ladies. I hope you've been drinking your milk. Always want to keep those bones strong, am I right? Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x195] Task: Make Homer Feed Patty and Selma to the Sauce (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Patty: Task: Make Patty Tell Homer He's Fat as She's Being Eaten (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Selma: Task: Make Selma Tell Homer He's Useless as She's Being Eaten (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) *growling noises* I heard a scream! What happened? Ahhhh! What the heck is that? *raaaaawr* It looks like even the cranberry sauce gets irritated by your sisters! Run for it! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 4

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 3: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. A tornado is currently ripping through Springfield! Wait, sorry. Our cue card guy has gotten the pre-written disaster cards mixed up. Just a minute while he gets it sorted. We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. Springfield is under attack by a giant jelly monster! That's the last time I mind-meld with a space alien. Space alien?! Yeah, you know. The alien who gave me the living space cranberry sauce that turned into that jelly monster when I fed it your aunts? Oh, THAT alien. In his defense, he DID say not to feed it the bones of the living. So that's on me. Hmm. So this jelly monster feeds off the bones of the living... I'll need to call for some backup to figure out how to stop this thing from destroying the town. Okay but hurry up. Dinner is still at four. Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x110] Task: Make Lisa Call Martin for Help (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Martin: Task: Make Martin Come to the Rescue (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) So we know the jelly monster grows whenever it's fed bones. My God. It's the perfect organism! Uh, I guess? But how do we stop it? I believe I've deduced the best course of action. Follow me! *voluntarily sacrifices himself to the jelly monster* What are you doing?! I giveth my body to become one with perfection! *eats Martin's bones* Don't really see why he had to get naked first, but okay... Quest reward: 100 and 10

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 5

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 4: Well Dad, there's no stopping the jelly monster. It even erected a giant metal can for itself in the town square! Of all the ways I could die, I never thought it would be food that did me in. Look, there's a spaceship landing! Relax, Earthlings. That is merely the spacetime vessel of my fellow Blargonians, here to retrieve me and the one you call "Jelly Monster." I was sent ahead to prepare "The Great Jelly." Though I can't take all the credit, as it was your father who turned it into its fully sentient form. "The Great Jelly"? That thing just wrecked half the town and ate my aunts and my friend from school! Yes, in retrospect, I can see how that might be received as... not "great." I could do a simple re-boning on your aunts and friend if you like. Just the friend will be fine. Actually, wait, Lisa, which friend is it? Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x185] If the user has Blarg Alien: Task: Make Blarg Alien Put Everyone's Bones Back (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Lisa Be Grossed Out by the Re-boning (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Homer Nearly Faint Watching the Re-boning (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Martin: Task: Make Martin Lose "One With Perfection" Status (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) There we are. Re-boned and good as new. What happened? I'm back? Am I still one with perfection? Everything is back to the way it was. As my people say, no harm, no foul. Other than the millions of dollars of property damage? Yes, specifically excluding that. Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Legend of the Jelly

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 5: So...why did you unleash your jelly monster on us? The Great Jelly is the key to peace across all of Blargonia... But in order for it to reach its true form and ensure continued peace, it required more human bones than we had laying around on our planet. Being a peaceful race, we could never have fed it humans ourselves lest we face the wrath of the Jelly God, Jam Master Jeff. Hey, you guys set me up! Apologies, it was necessary for the survival of Blargmanity. Here, have a bite of The Great Jelly. Woo hoo! *bites off a piece of the jelly monster.* The Great Jelly won't mind being eaten? The Great Jelly's one purpose is to bring squishy cranberry goodness to the mouths of everyone it meets. Except the people whose bones it eats. Look, we're crazy aliens who worship a cranberry monster. This was never going to make perfect sense. Task: Make Homer Take a Bite Out of Jelly Monster (4h, Humanity's Hope or Brown House) If the user has Jelly Monster: Task: Make Jelly Monster Be Happy (4h, Humanity's Hope or Brown House) Now, oh Great Jelly, aboard our ship awaits your throne. Which, funnily enough, we fashioned from the skulls of humans in the future after we wiped out their entire race, but they don't know that yet. *waves goodbye* We shall return to our time and planet, and we won't be back until we require more bones. *attempts to start ship* ... It's not starting. We're out of antimatter. Did nobody fill up when you stopped on Andromeda? *facepalms* Quest reward: 200 and 20