Heaven vs. Hell is a pair of contrasting lists of sayings by Mr. Burns and Ned Flanders. Ned cites a list of Biblical principles (the "Heaven" list) and Burns presents counterarguments (the "Hell" list).
Heaven vs. Hell
| Heaven
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Hell
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| Money is the root of all evil!
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A profit is not recognized in its own land.
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| Speak of the devil, and he is bound to appear.
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I am available for personal appearances, but my fee is outrageous!
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| I believe that children are our future.
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There's a sucker born every minute!
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| A soft answer turneth away wrath!
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Speak softly and carry a big stick. Then hit people with it.
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| Faith will move mountains.
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Money makes the world go 'round!
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| All you need is love!
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Your lovin' gives me a thrill, but your lovin' don't pay my bills, now give me money!
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| As your sow, so shall you reap.
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As one of of my favorite bands once said, "Don't fear the reaper!"
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| When life gives your lemons, make lemonade.
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When life gives your lemons, make limoncelllo and get hammered.
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| I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
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Nice guys finish last!
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| Love thy neighbor!
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Hate the neighborhood watch!
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| It is better to give than to receive.
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Don't dish it out if you can't take it!
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| Forgive and forget.
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Revenge is a dish best served cold. And with a side of grudge.
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| Judge not, lest you yourself be judged.
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Kill them all and let god sort them out!
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| Let not the sun go down on your wrath.
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Never go to bed mad ... stay up and fight!
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| Moderation in all things.
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He who dies with the most toys wins!
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| There's no rest for the wicked.
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You sleep when you're dead!
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Appearances
