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Difference between revisions of "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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<hr width="50%" />
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<hr width="50%" />:''[In the Simpson house, [[Marge]] has been acting strangely all morning: Cutting things out of the newspaper, running the vacuum cleaner during [[Homer]]'s phone conversation with [[Lenny]] (which keeps him from hearing about something big and annual), and now smoking a cigarette. Homer is suspicious when she doesn't want him to open the front door to let fresh air into the house.]''
:''[In the Simpson house, [[Marge]] has been acting strangely all morning: Cutting things out of the newspaper, running the vacuum cleaner during [[Homer]]'s phone conversation with [[Lenny]] (which keeps him from hearing about something big and annual), and now smoking a cigarette. Homer is suspicious when she doesn't want him to open the front door to let fresh air into the house.]''
 
 
:'''Homer''': "What's wrong with you? What are you trying to hide from me? ''[opens the front door and sniffs]'' What's that smell? Onions ... chili powder ... cumin ... juicy ground chuck? Oh, my God, I'm missing the Chili Cook-Off! ''[whining and fidgeting]'' I'm missing the Cook-Off, it's going on right now, and I'm missing it!"
 
:'''Homer''': "What's wrong with you? What are you trying to hide from me? ''[opens the front door and sniffs]'' What's that smell? Onions ... chili powder ... cumin ... juicy ground chuck? Oh, my God, I'm missing the Chili Cook-Off! ''[whining and fidgeting]'' I'm missing the Cook-Off, it's going on right now, and I'm missing it!"
 
:'''Marge''': "All right! I '''was''' trying to keep it from you! But I had a good reason. Every time you go to that Cook-Off you get as drunk as a poet on payday!"
 
:'''Marge''': "All right! I '''was''' trying to keep it from you! But I had a good reason. Every time you go to that Cook-Off you get as drunk as a poet on payday!"
Line 12: Line 11:
 
:'''[[Homer]]''': "Well, of course everything looks bad when you '''remember''' it!"
 
:'''[[Homer]]''': "Well, of course everything looks bad when you '''remember''' it!"
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />:''[Homer interrupts [[Marge]] while she's looking at [[Lenny]]'s crafts booth.]''
:''[Homer interrupts [[Marge]] while she's looking at [[Lenny]]'s crafts booth.]''
 
 
:'''Homer''': "Maaaaaarrge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy, more fartsy!"
 
:'''Homer''': "Maaaaaarrge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy, more fartsy!"
 
:'''Marge''': "Homer, I happen to like handicrafts much more than stuffing my face."
 
:'''Marge''': "Homer, I happen to like handicrafts much more than stuffing my face."
 
:'''Homer''': "Fine, I'll come find you when I'm ready to stop having fun."
 
:'''Homer''': "Fine, I'll come find you when I'm ready to stop having fun."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />:'''[[Smithers]]''': "Evenin', little lady. Ya reckon a square could get a dance?"
:'''[[Smithers]]''': "Evenin', little lady. Ya reckon a square could get a dance?"
 
 
:'''Marge''': "It looks so complicated. Do you know how?"
 
:'''Marge''': "It looks so complicated. Do you know how?"
 
:'''Smithers''': "Ma'am, I wouldn't honk the honk if I couldn't tonk the tonk."
 
:'''Smithers''': "Ma'am, I wouldn't honk the honk if I couldn't tonk the tonk."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />:'''[[Chief Wiggum]]''': "That Homer Simpson! He thinks he is the Pope of Chilitown!"
:'''[[Chief Wiggum]]''': "That Homer Simpson! He thinks he is the Pope of Chilitown!"
 
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />:''[His mouth protected by candle wax, Homer eats several [[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper]]s while a shocked crowd watches.]''
:''[His mouth protected by candle wax, Homer eats several [[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper]]s while a shocked crowd watches.]''
 
 
:'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': "Good Lord, this can't be happening!"
 
:'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': "Good Lord, this can't be happening!"
 
:'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]''': "By all medical logic, steam should be shooting out of his ears."
 
:'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]''': "By all medical logic, steam should be shooting out of his ears."
 
:'''[[Krusty]]''': "His ears if we're lucky!"
 
:'''[[Krusty]]''': "His ears if we're lucky!"
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />:'''Homer''': ''[hallucinating]'' "I hope I didn't brain my damage."
:'''Homer''': ''[hallucinating]'' "I hope I didn't brain my damage."
 
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />:'''[[Spirit Guide|Coyote]]''': "There is a lesson you must learn."
:'''[[Spirit Guide|Coyote]]''': "There is a lesson you must learn."
 
 
:'''Homer''': "If it's about laying off the [[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper|insanity peppers]], I'm way ahead of you."
 
:'''Homer''': "If it's about laying off the [[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper|insanity peppers]], I'm way ahead of you."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />:''[In search for his soul mate, Homer calls a Personals ad.]''
:''[In search for his soul mate, Homer calls a Personals ad.]''
 
 
:'''Homer''': "Hello? Is this ..uh... G B M? Uh, yeah. I read in the personals you were seeking a soulmate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies. Uh-huh ... ''[apprehensively]'' uh, no, I don't like that ... or that ... No, it's not that I'm afraid. ''[now speaking very quickly]'' I'm gonna hang up now, bye-bye!"
 
:'''Homer''': "Hello? Is this ..uh... G B M? Uh, yeah. I read in the personals you were seeking a soulmate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies. Uh-huh ... ''[apprehensively]'' uh, no, I don't like that ... or that ... No, it's not that I'm afraid. ''[now speaking very quickly]'' I'm gonna hang up now, bye-bye!"
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />:''[Homer is in the lighthouse, and his silhouette is being projected into the sky by the lighthouse's lamp.]''
:''[Homer is in the lighthouse, and his silhouette is being projected into the sky by the lighthouse's lamp.]''
 
 
:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[looking out a window and seeing the silhouette]'' "Hey, look! Is that Dad?"
 
:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[looking out a window and seeing the silhouette]'' "Hey, look! Is that Dad?"
 
:'''[[Lisa]]''': "Either that, or Batman's really let himself go!"
 
:'''[[Lisa]]''': "Either that, or Batman's really let himself go!"
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />:''[In the lighthouse, [[Marge]] catches up to [[Homer]] and they patch up their differences.]''
:''[In the lighthouse, [[Marge]] catches up to [[Homer]] and they patch up their differences.]''
 
 
:'''Homer''': "Wow, Marge, you really do understand me. See, I thought we weren't soulmates because ..."
 
:'''Homer''': "Wow, Marge, you really do understand me. See, I thought we weren't soulmates because ..."
 
:'''Marge''': ''[completing Homer's sentence]'' "We had a fight?"
 
:'''Marge''': ''[completing Homer's sentence]'' "We had a fight?"
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:'''Homer''': "Oh, sure, give me the one with all the monsters."
 
:'''Homer''': "Oh, sure, give me the one with all the monsters."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
<hr width="50%" />'''Homer:''' Huh? Golf course? Did I dream that whole thing? Maybe the desert was just this sand trap. Oh, and I bet that crazy pyramid was just the pro shop. (''the pro shop is on top of a giant pyramid, as well)'' And that talking coyote was really just a talking dog.
 +
 
 +
'''Dog:''' Hi, Homer. Find your soulmate.
 +
 
 +
'''Homer:''' Hey, wait a minute!  There's no such thing as a talking dog!
 +
 
 +
'''Dog:''' [''barks'']
 +
 
 +
'''Homer:''' Damn straight!
 
{{Season 8 Q}}
 
{{Season 8 Q}}
 
[[Category:Quotes]]
 
[[Category:Quotes]]

Revision as of 13:26, September 1, 2010




:[In the Simpson house, Marge has been acting strangely all morning: Cutting things out of the newspaper, running the vacuum cleaner during Homer's phone conversation with Lenny (which keeps him from hearing about something big and annual), and now smoking a cigarette. Homer is suspicious when she doesn't want him to open the front door to let fresh air into the house.]
Homer: "What's wrong with you? What are you trying to hide from me? [opens the front door and sniffs] What's that smell? Onions ... chili powder ... cumin ... juicy ground chuck? Oh, my God, I'm missing the Chili Cook-Off! [whining and fidgeting] I'm missing the Cook-Off, it's going on right now, and I'm missing it!"
Marge: "All right! I was trying to keep it from you! But I had a good reason. Every time you go to that Cook-Off you get as drunk as a poet on payday!"
[Flashback to last year's Chili Cook-Off. People are shocked as a naked Homer is cavorting in the cotton candy machine.]
Homer: [drunk, slurred speech] "Look at me! I'm a puffy pink cloud!"
[Return to present.]
Homer: "Well, of course everything looks bad when you remember it!"

:[Homer interrupts Marge while she's looking at Lenny's crafts booth.]
Homer: "Maaaaaarrge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy, more fartsy!"
Marge: "Homer, I happen to like handicrafts much more than stuffing my face."
Homer: "Fine, I'll come find you when I'm ready to stop having fun."

:Smithers: "Evenin', little lady. Ya reckon a square could get a dance?"
Marge: "It looks so complicated. Do you know how?"
Smithers: "Ma'am, I wouldn't honk the honk if I couldn't tonk the tonk."

:Chief Wiggum: "That Homer Simpson! He thinks he is the Pope of Chilitown!"
:[His mouth protected by candle wax, Homer eats several Guatemalan Insanity Peppers while a shocked crowd watches.]
Mayor Quimby: "Good Lord, this can't be happening!"
Dr. Hibbert: "By all medical logic, steam should be shooting out of his ears."
Krusty: "His ears if we're lucky!"

:Homer: [hallucinating] "I hope I didn't brain my damage."
:Coyote: "There is a lesson you must learn."
Homer: "If it's about laying off the insanity peppers, I'm way ahead of you."

:[In search for his soul mate, Homer calls a Personals ad.]
Homer: "Hello? Is this ..uh... G B M? Uh, yeah. I read in the personals you were seeking a soulmate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies. Uh-huh ... [apprehensively] uh, no, I don't like that ... or that ... No, it's not that I'm afraid. [now speaking very quickly] I'm gonna hang up now, bye-bye!"

:[Homer is in the lighthouse, and his silhouette is being projected into the sky by the lighthouse's lamp.]
Bart: [looking out a window and seeing the silhouette] "Hey, look! Is that Dad?"
Lisa: "Either that, or Batman's really let himself go!"

:[In the lighthouse, Marge catches up to Homer and they patch up their differences.]
Homer: "Wow, Marge, you really do understand me. See, I thought we weren't soulmates because ..."
Marge: [completing Homer's sentence] "We had a fight?"
Homer: "Right, and we don't like the same things. It's like you're from Venus ..."
Marge: "And you're from Mars."
Homer: "Oh, sure, give me the one with all the monsters."

Homer: Huh? Golf course? Did I dream that whole thing? Maybe the desert was just this sand trap. Oh, and I bet that crazy pyramid was just the pro shop. (the pro shop is on top of a giant pyramid, as well) And that talking coyote was really just a talking dog.

Dog: Hi, Homer. Find your soulmate.

Homer: Hey, wait a minute! There's no such thing as a talking dog!

Dog: [barks]

Homer: Damn straight! Template:Season 8 Q