Difference between revisions of "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)/Quotes"

Revision as of 09:14, August 13, 2010

Smithers: Sir, the numbers are down.

Mr. Burns: No problem, I have lived through the Depression, two recessions and five years of McKinelynomics. Let us begin the layoffs. Let us see..

Burns looks at monitors, and sees one man fixing pipes.

Mr. Burns: ...fire him...

Mr. Burns sees another man working diligently.

Mr. Burns: ..and him...

Mr. Burns sees Homer staring into space, but wearing glasses.

Mr. Burns: Hmm, better keep the egghead. No telling when he will come in handy.

Robert Goulet: [coming out of the airplane and sees Bart with him name on a sign] Are you from the casino?

Bart: I am from "a" casino.

Robert Goulet: Eh, good enough. Let us go.

[Bart takes Robert Goulet to his treehouse]

Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.

Nelson Muntz (brandishing his fist at Goulet]: "Your manager says for you to shut up!

Robert Goulet: Vera said that?

[Last lines of episode]

Marge: What happened at Lisa's geography pageant?

[Cut to the geography pageant at the school]

Principal Skinner: And an award goes to those who had obviously no help from their parents whatsoever, Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum!

[Lisa is wearing Homer's crudely made and misspelled "FLOREDA" costume, while Ralph taped a piece of looseleaf paper to himself with "IDAHO" written on it]

Ralph: I am Idaho!

Principal Skinner: Yes you are.

Deleted scene

James Bont: Hit me.

[Homer deals Bont a card]

James Bont: Joker?

Homer: Joker is a card.

James Bont: You are supposed to take the Jokers out of the decks to play blackjack! Hit me again!

[Homer deals Bont another card]

James Bont: Rules for playing stud poker?

[Bont is suddenly dragged away by two muscular men]

Differnt sence

Lisa: Dad! I had a nightmere!

Homer: Don't worry. Just tell me what happend.

Lisa: I know it sounds a little obserd, but I deamet that the Boogie man was chasing me and that me was in-

Homer:AAAHHHHH! BOOGIE MAN! Quick Lisa, you board up the windeows and I'll get the gun!

(Homer runs into Bart's room)

Homer:Bart, I don't mean to alrarm you, but there might be a Boogie man or men in the house!

Bart:AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

(Homer finds glasses in the mens room toilet, puts them on, and put's his finger on his temple like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.)

Homer:The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.

Manin stall:That's a right triangle, ya idiot!

Homer:D'oh!

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