Difference between revisions of "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer/Quotes"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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:''[In the Simpson house, [[Marge]] has been acting strangely all morning: Cutting things out of the newspaper, running the vacuum cleaner during [[Homer]]'s phone conversation with [[Lenny]] (which keeps him from hearing about something big and annual), and now smoking a cigarette. Homer is suspicious when she doesn't want him to open the front door to let fresh air into the house.]'' | :''[In the Simpson house, [[Marge]] has been acting strangely all morning: Cutting things out of the newspaper, running the vacuum cleaner during [[Homer]]'s phone conversation with [[Lenny]] (which keeps him from hearing about something big and annual), and now smoking a cigarette. Homer is suspicious when she doesn't want him to open the front door to let fresh air into the house.]'' | ||
:'''Homer''': "What's wrong with you? What are you trying to hide from me? ''[opens the front door and sniffs]'' What's that smell? Onions ... chili powder ... cumin ... juicy ground chuck? Oh, my God, I'm missing the Chili Cook-Off! ''[whining and fidgeting]'' I'm missing the Cook-Off, it's going on right now, and I'm missing it!" | :'''Homer''': "What's wrong with you? What are you trying to hide from me? ''[opens the front door and sniffs]'' What's that smell? Onions ... chili powder ... cumin ... juicy ground chuck? Oh, my God, I'm missing the Chili Cook-Off! ''[whining and fidgeting]'' I'm missing the Cook-Off, it's going on right now, and I'm missing it!" | ||
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:'''[[Homer]]''': "Well, of course everything looks bad when you '''remember''' it!" | :'''[[Homer]]''': "Well, of course everything looks bad when you '''remember''' it!" | ||
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:''[Homer interrupts [[Marge]] while she's looking at [[Lenny]]'s crafts booth.]'' | :''[Homer interrupts [[Marge]] while she's looking at [[Lenny]]'s crafts booth.]'' | ||
:'''Homer''': "Maaaaaarrge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy, more fartsy!" | :'''Homer''': "Maaaaaarrge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy, more fartsy!" | ||
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:'''Homer''': "Fine, I'll come find you when I'm ready to stop having fun." | :'''Homer''': "Fine, I'll come find you when I'm ready to stop having fun." | ||
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:'''[[Smithers]]''': "Evenin', little lady. Ya reckon a square could get a dance?" | :'''[[Smithers]]''': "Evenin', little lady. Ya reckon a square could get a dance?" | ||
:'''Marge''': "It looks so complicated. Do you know how?" | :'''Marge''': "It looks so complicated. Do you know how?" | ||
:'''Smithers''': "Ma'am, I wouldn't honk the honk if I couldn't tonk the tonk." | :'''Smithers''': "Ma'am, I wouldn't honk the honk if I couldn't tonk the tonk." | ||
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:'''[[Chief Wiggum]]''': "That Homer Simpson! He thinks he is the Pope of Chilitown!" | :'''[[Chief Wiggum]]''': "That Homer Simpson! He thinks he is the Pope of Chilitown!" | ||
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:''[His mouth protected by candle wax, Homer eats several [[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper]]s while a shocked crowd watches.]'' | :''[His mouth protected by candle wax, Homer eats several [[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper]]s while a shocked crowd watches.]'' | ||
:'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': "Good Lord, this can't be happening!" | :'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': "Good Lord, this can't be happening!" | ||
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:'''[[Krusty]]''': "His ears if we're lucky!" | :'''[[Krusty]]''': "His ears if we're lucky!" | ||
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:'''Homer''': ''[hallucinating]'' "I hope I didn't brain my damage." | :'''Homer''': ''[hallucinating]'' "I hope I didn't brain my damage." | ||
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:'''[[Spirit Guide|Coyote]]''': "There is a lesson you must learn." | :'''[[Spirit Guide|Coyote]]''': "There is a lesson you must learn." | ||
:'''Homer''': "If it's about laying off the [[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper|insanity peppers]], I'm way ahead of you." | :'''Homer''': "If it's about laying off the [[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper|insanity peppers]], I'm way ahead of you." | ||
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| + | :''[The next morning, [[Homer]] wakes up on a golf course and attempts to rationalize his chili hallucianation.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "Huh? Golf course? Did I dream that whole thing? Maybe the desert was just this sand trap. Oh, and I bet that crazy pyramid was just the pro shop. ''[The pro shop is shaped like a giant pyramid.]'' And that talking coyote was really just a talking dog." | ||
| + | :'''Dog''': "Hi, Homer. Find your soulmate!" | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "Hey, wait a minute! There's no such thing as a talking dog." | ||
| + | :'''Dog''': ''[barks]'' | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "Damn straight!" | ||
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:''[In search for his soul mate, Homer calls a Personals ad.]'' | :''[In search for his soul mate, Homer calls a Personals ad.]'' | ||
:'''Homer''': "Hello? Is this ..uh... G B M? Uh, yeah. I read in the personals you were seeking a soulmate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies. Uh-huh ... ''[apprehensively]'' uh, no, I don't like that ... or that ... No, it's not that I'm afraid. ''[now speaking very quickly]'' I'm gonna hang up now, bye-bye!" | :'''Homer''': "Hello? Is this ..uh... G B M? Uh, yeah. I read in the personals you were seeking a soulmate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies. Uh-huh ... ''[apprehensively]'' uh, no, I don't like that ... or that ... No, it's not that I'm afraid. ''[now speaking very quickly]'' I'm gonna hang up now, bye-bye!" | ||
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:''[Homer is in the lighthouse, and his silhouette is being projected into the sky by the lighthouse's lamp.]'' | :''[Homer is in the lighthouse, and his silhouette is being projected into the sky by the lighthouse's lamp.]'' | ||
:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[looking out a window and seeing the silhouette]'' "Hey, look! Is that Dad?" | :'''[[Bart]]''': ''[looking out a window and seeing the silhouette]'' "Hey, look! Is that Dad?" | ||
:'''[[Lisa]]''': "Either that, or Batman's really let himself go!" | :'''[[Lisa]]''': "Either that, or Batman's really let himself go!" | ||
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:''[In the lighthouse, [[Marge]] catches up to [[Homer]] and they patch up their differences.]'' | :''[In the lighthouse, [[Marge]] catches up to [[Homer]] and they patch up their differences.]'' | ||
:'''Homer''': "Wow, Marge, you really do understand me. See, I thought we weren't soulmates because ..." | :'''Homer''': "Wow, Marge, you really do understand me. See, I thought we weren't soulmates because ..." | ||
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:'''Homer''': "Oh, sure, give me the one with all the monsters." | :'''Homer''': "Oh, sure, give me the one with all the monsters." | ||
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{{Season 8 Q}} | {{Season 8 Q}} | ||
[[Category:Quotes]] | [[Category:Quotes]] | ||
Revision as of 20:10, September 9, 2010
- [In the Simpson house, Marge has been acting strangely all morning: Cutting things out of the newspaper, running the vacuum cleaner during Homer's phone conversation with Lenny (which keeps him from hearing about something big and annual), and now smoking a cigarette. Homer is suspicious when she doesn't want him to open the front door to let fresh air into the house.]
- Homer: "What's wrong with you? What are you trying to hide from me? [opens the front door and sniffs] What's that smell? Onions ... chili powder ... cumin ... juicy ground chuck? Oh, my God, I'm missing the Chili Cook-Off! [whining and fidgeting] I'm missing the Cook-Off, it's going on right now, and I'm missing it!"
- Marge: "All right! I was trying to keep it from you! But I had a good reason. Every time you go to that Cook-Off you get as drunk as a poet on payday!"
- [Flashback to last year's Chili Cook-Off. People are shocked as a naked Homer is cavorting in the cotton candy machine.]
- Homer: [drunk, slurred speech] "Look at me! I'm a puffy pink cloud!"
- [Return to present.]
- Homer: "Well, of course everything looks bad when you remember it!"
- [Homer interrupts Marge while she's looking at Lenny's crafts booth.]
- Homer: "Maaaaaarrge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy, more fartsy!"
- Marge: "Homer, I happen to like handicrafts much more than stuffing my face."
- Homer: "Fine, I'll come find you when I'm ready to stop having fun."
- Smithers: "Evenin', little lady. Ya reckon a square could get a dance?"
- Marge: "It looks so complicated. Do you know how?"
- Smithers: "Ma'am, I wouldn't honk the honk if I couldn't tonk the tonk."
- Chief Wiggum: "That Homer Simpson! He thinks he is the Pope of Chilitown!"
- [His mouth protected by candle wax, Homer eats several Guatemalan Insanity Peppers while a shocked crowd watches.]
- Mayor Quimby: "Good Lord, this can't be happening!"
- Dr. Hibbert: "By all medical logic, steam should be shooting out of his ears."
- Krusty: "His ears if we're lucky!"
- Homer: [hallucinating] "I hope I didn't brain my damage."
- Coyote: "There is a lesson you must learn."
- Homer: "If it's about laying off the insanity peppers, I'm way ahead of you."
- [The next morning, Homer wakes up on a golf course and attempts to rationalize his chili hallucianation.]
- Homer: "Huh? Golf course? Did I dream that whole thing? Maybe the desert was just this sand trap. Oh, and I bet that crazy pyramid was just the pro shop. [The pro shop is shaped like a giant pyramid.] And that talking coyote was really just a talking dog."
- Dog: "Hi, Homer. Find your soulmate!"
- Homer: "Hey, wait a minute! There's no such thing as a talking dog."
- Dog: [barks]
- Homer: "Damn straight!"
- [In search for his soul mate, Homer calls a Personals ad.]
- Homer: "Hello? Is this ..uh... G B M? Uh, yeah. I read in the personals you were seeking a soulmate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies. Uh-huh ... [apprehensively] uh, no, I don't like that ... or that ... No, it's not that I'm afraid. [now speaking very quickly] I'm gonna hang up now, bye-bye!"
- [Homer is in the lighthouse, and his silhouette is being projected into the sky by the lighthouse's lamp.]
- Bart: [looking out a window and seeing the silhouette] "Hey, look! Is that Dad?"
- Lisa: "Either that, or Batman's really let himself go!"
- [In the lighthouse, Marge catches up to Homer and they patch up their differences.]
- Homer: "Wow, Marge, you really do understand me. See, I thought we weren't soulmates because ..."
- Marge: [completing Homer's sentence] "We had a fight?"
- Homer: "Right, and we don't like the same things. It's like you're from Venus ..."
- Marge: "And you're from Mars."
- Homer: "Oh, sure, give me the one with all the monsters."
