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[[File:Jack Lassen.png|230px|left|link=Jack Lassen]]
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[[File:Golem.png|200px|right|link=Male Golem]]
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The '''Male Golem''', also known as the '''Golem of Prague''', was a Jewish {{W|Golem}} made of clay.
  
'''Jack Lassen''' is a former school teacher and current prison guard at the [[Springfield Penitentiary]].
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In the 1600s, the Golem was created on a potters wheel by a rabbi in the [[Old New Synagogue]] in [[Prague]]. The Golem was made to perform any task that was written on a scroll and placed in its mouth. After its creation, the rabbi had the Golem kill the rioters outside the Old New Synagogue. At some point after that event, he killed a {{W|czar}}. Eventually, the Golem ended up under the ownership of [[Krusty the Clown]]. During this period, Krusty had him kill some hecklers during a comedy show he held at [[The Laugh Stop]].
  
According to Lassen's [[Wiccapedia]] article, he was born in [[Maine]] to Julius and Marion Lassen. His ancestors moved from Maine during the Civil War in the 1860s. His parents also named him after [[John F. Kennedy|Jack Kennedy]], who they mistook for his brother [[Bobby Kennedy|Bobby]].
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One day, after a recording of ''{{Krusty show}}'', [[Bart]] went backstage to find Krusty to complain about his [[Krusty Brand Alarm Clock]]. Instead, he found Krusty's prop room and decided to look around. Here he found the Golem, which initially scared him. Krusty then appeared and told Bart the Golem's story. Bart then wrote a note telling the Golem to go to his house at midnight and put it in the Golem's mouth. That night, Bart was eagerly awaiting the Golem's arrival. After being faked out by a drunken [[Homer]], the Golem showed up and Bart wrote a note telling him to "kick Homer's balls". The Golem misunderstood this as "kick Homer's walls" instead at first, but then managed to do the task. The next day, Bart took the Golem to school and had him rearrange the bullies heads after they demanded Bart's lunch money...
  
Lassen became a teacher at [[Springfield Elementary]] after his name was selected at random by [[Gary Chalmers]] at the annual Dance of the Lemons. He was later sent to [[Principal Skinner]]'s office by [[Myra]] who told him he could not smoke before he ate the cigarette and burned the match on his eye. Skinner spoke to Lassen about his prior school experience, including at [[Shelbyville]] Prep. After Skinner mentioned Lassen entering the public school system, Lassen said that how he got this scar before cutting a large gash into his face with a pocket knife. Skinner ended the evaluation of Lassen when he discovered he was left-handed. Soon after, Lassen entered the fourth grade classroom and wrote his name on the blackboard.
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<p style="font-size: small; text-align: right;">[[Male Golem|Read more of this article]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Previous Featured articles|More featured articles]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Featured article|Vote for a featured article]]</p><noinclude>
 
 
[[Nelson]] made fun of Lassen's name which infuriated him. Lassen also poked fun at Nelson even mentioning his [[Mrs. Muntz|mother]], which led Nelson to cry. As this happened [[Milhouse]] researched Lassen on [[Wiccapedia]], telling [[Bart]] that he served two tours in middle school and also to abort his planned prank on Lassen...
 
 
 
<p style="font-size: small; text-align: right;">[[Jack Lassen|Read more of this article]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Previous Featured articles|More featured articles]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Featured article|Vote for a featured article]]</p><noinclude>
 
 
[[Category:Templates]][[sv:Mall:Utvald Artikel]]</noinclude>
 
[[Category:Templates]][[sv:Mall:Utvald Artikel]]</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 08:24, October 1, 2024

Golem.png

The Male Golem, also known as the Golem of Prague, was a Jewish Golem made of clay.

In the 1600s, the Golem was created on a potters wheel by a rabbi in the Old New Synagogue in Prague. The Golem was made to perform any task that was written on a scroll and placed in its mouth. After its creation, the rabbi had the Golem kill the rioters outside the Old New Synagogue. At some point after that event, he killed a czar. Eventually, the Golem ended up under the ownership of Krusty the Clown. During this period, Krusty had him kill some hecklers during a comedy show he held at The Laugh Stop.

One day, after a recording of The Krusty the Clown Show, Bart went backstage to find Krusty to complain about his Krusty Brand Alarm Clock. Instead, he found Krusty's prop room and decided to look around. Here he found the Golem, which initially scared him. Krusty then appeared and told Bart the Golem's story. Bart then wrote a note telling the Golem to go to his house at midnight and put it in the Golem's mouth. That night, Bart was eagerly awaiting the Golem's arrival. After being faked out by a drunken Homer, the Golem showed up and Bart wrote a note telling him to "kick Homer's balls". The Golem misunderstood this as "kick Homer's walls" instead at first, but then managed to do the task. The next day, Bart took the Golem to school and had him rearrange the bullies heads after they demanded Bart's lunch money...

Read more of this article | More featured articles | Vote for a featured article