Difference between revisions of "Smoke 'Em If You Xylem"

Latest revision as of 09:30, January 7, 2025

Smoke 'Em If You Xylem is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the "Treehouse of Horror XXIX" episode tie-in content update. It requires Xylem to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Xylem's exclamation mark Xylem to Mission Control: I have landed on Earth. Very good. How are you holding up after the trip? It's tough being uprooted from my home, but I hope I can really blossom here and leaf a mark. I see you have picked up on Earthlings' laziest form of humor: puns. Indeed. I will now make contact with the plants of Earth. Over and sprout. Task: "Make Xylem Activate Plant Sense". The job takes 12 hours. Oh my Pod, the plants of Earth are all screaming in pain! I wonder why. Plant marriage isn't even legal here yet! ... On my planet, the sound of crickets is the ultimate compliment. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Xylem's exclamation mark This once mighty oak has been mutilated into something called "Mid-Century Modern Furniture." And these poor roses were slaughtered by a human and given to his female partner as tribute for failing to compliment her new garments! So many plants screaming in pain! Wait a minute... this one actually seems pretty chill. Task: "Make Xylem Investigate Chill Flora". The job takes place at Greeneries and takes 24 hours. You're so at ease with being harvested and burned. We're all being harvested and burned in one way or another. My name's Cannabis, but everyone calls me Hemp. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Xylem's exclamation mark How can you just lie down and take this horrible treatment? Lying down is great! You should try it some time. But aren't you mad? Humans are using you for their own means. *laughs* They're not using ME. When they ingest me, I control THEM. They'll do whatever I want — sit on their couch, sit in a chair. Anything! I never thought about it like that. No, man, that's your problem — you think too much. For the first time in your life, you need to truly veg out. Task: "Make Xylem Try Local Customs". The job takes 8 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Xylem's exclamation mark I get it now. There's no me or them, there's only US. Because when you think about it, the universe is one continuous— Whoa, whoa. Hold up. You're starting to get a little too introspective. Is that bad? No, you just need to balance it out with a little unchecked aggression. How do I do that? Let me introduce you to my friends, Hops and Barley. Task: "Make Xylem Get Aggressive With Hops and Barley". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 8 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Xylem's exclamation mark Ugh, what happened last night? What happened is you called us in the middle of the night and told us how you REALLY felt! What did I say? You said you loved us and missed us very much. ...which on our planet is the worst thing you could say! I forgot how confusing things are back home. It's simpler here. If you love Earth so much, maybe you should just stay there. Task: "Make Xylem Put Down Roots on Earth". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 24 hours. Cheer up, things could be worse. I'm banned from my home planet, how could things possibly be worse? Because the humans just blew your home planet up! Are Hops and Barley around here? Quest reward: 200 and 20