Difference between revisions of "Krusty Gets Busted/Quotes"

Revision as of 11:24, January 14, 2018

Apu: What's the matter sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream!

Homer: The reason I look unhappy is 'cause tonight I have to see a slideshow starring my wife's sisters! Or as I call them "The Gruesome Twosome!" [chuckles and accidentally steps on Krusty's foot]

Krusty: Ow! My foot you stupid lousy clumsy...!

Homer: Sorry pal! [gasps in horror when he sports Krusty holding a handgun and dives head first into a potato chip display]

Krusty: [pointing gun a Apu] Hand over all your money in a paper bag!

Apu: Yes, yes I know the procedure for armed robbery! I do work in a convenience store you know! [hands over paper bag afterwhich Krusty flees]

Apu: [to Homer] You can emerge now from my chips. The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone.

[Homer gasps with relief]

[Springfield Courthouse. Krusty is being indicted.]

Judge: How does the defendant plead?

Krusty: I plead guilty, Your Honor.

[Entire courtroom gasps. Defense attorney looks annoyed.]

Defense attorney: No, no!

[Defense attorney covers microphone and whispers to Krusty.]

Krusty: Oops, I'm sorry. I plead not guilty, Your Honor. Opening night jitters!

[Krusty's trial. Judge Snyder is not yet a judge, instead he is the prosecution attorney. He is attempting to prove Krusty's motivation for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart]

Prosecutor Snyder: Krusty, will you point out Exhibit B?

Krusty: Huh? Wh-What do you mean?

Snyder: The one with the "B".

Krusty: Uh...Uh...

Snyder: What is the matter, can't you read?

Krusty: [distraught] No, ok?! I'm illiterate!

[Courtroom audience and jury gasp]

Snyder: I do not believe it: the king of children's literacy is himself illiterate!

Krusty: Is it a crime to be unable to read?

Snyder: Well, no, so I will point it out for you. OK, Krusty, this is a "B", and this is Exhibit B. Betting slips! Indicating to this court you have lost substansial amounts of money wagering on sporting games!

Krusty: Is it a crime to wager on sporting games?

Snyder: Yes it is.

[Reverend Lovejoy spearheads a bonfire of all Krusty products]

Peddler: Krusty dolls for sale, $2! Buy them and burn them!

[Homer has confiscated all of Bart's Krusty toys and loaded them in a wheelbarrow.]

Bart: Dad, you're giving in to mob mentality!

Homer: No I am not, I am part of the mainstream, participating with the herd! So come on boy, join the winning team!