Uncle Burn$/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Narrator: Later, at the Simpsons' suburbian home...
- Marge: Hrmmm... I don't know about this, Homer. I don't like the idea of you going to the south seas with Mr. Burns alone.
- Homer: But, Marge, he promised to split any treasure we find.
- Lisa: Well, I think it sounds like a grand adventure! I wish I was going!
- Marge: That's a good idea, Homer. Take Lisa!
- Homer: Huh?
- Marge: She's sensible and will keep you out of trouble!
- Bart: How come Lisa gets to go on a grip and I'm stuck here?
- Homer: Wait, I don't know if I really want to...
- Marge: You're right! Homer take all the kids with you. Luckily, I just happened to pack all your bags this afternoon. If anyone needs me, I'll be at the Rancho Relaxo spa!
- Lisa: Mr. Burns, I...
- Mr. Burns: Please, call me Uncle Burns!
- Lisa: I'd rather not!
- Mr. Burns: Oh, but I must insist. I bought the rights to the title "uncle" from a Herbert Powell who sold them in exchange for a substantital investment in his corporation.
- Lisa: Unky Herb?
- Mr. Burns: And there's the floating key of Strobl! Just where the ancient tribes of Taliaferro placed it thousands of years ago!
- Homer: [PANT!]
- Bart: How can it just float there? Magic?!
- Lisa: There's no such thing! The metal ore in the volcano must be creating a magnetic field holding it there.
- Homer: So how are we going to split the gold up? What's fifty-fifry divided by five?
- Mr. Burns: Sorry, old sport, fatty gets nothing!
- Homer: But you said we'd split the treasure when we found i.
- Mr. Burns: Oh, you must have heard me wrong. I said I'd split once the treasure had been found. And now, with the help of my golden belt buckle, I'll do just that! Sorry I can't offer you a ride back to shore, but I need the room for the gold. Enjoy your undersea lives! Say hello to Davey Jones for me!
- Homer: No! Come back! I don't even like the Monkees!
- Lisa: Mr. Burns! Once we reach shore we're going to the police!
- Mr. Burns: There's no need to bring the constabularies into this. What say, once we reach shore, I present you all with your weight in gold?
- Homer: What do I say? Woo-hoo!
