Reverend Lovejoy's Hellfire Comics: Citizen Shame!/Quotes
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- Reverend Lovejoy: Welcome, children of Springfield! The Lord works in mysterious ways... And now, even in convenient comic book form! A plague lurks in our community, a sweeping pestilence known as hooliganism—Ruffians who consider "getting kicks" more important than good, reverent citizenship. But, as you'll see, hooliganism has dire consequences. So take heed my tale, lest you end up like... Citizen Shame!
- Narration: But watch out! Even the best egg is bound to crack under the siren song of hooliganism...
- Lisa: [notes] What a poorly constructed sentence. He's mixing his metaphors!
- Bart: [notes] Note to Lisa: please refer to the front cover for rules regarding the touching of this book!
- Moe Szyslak: Why, you little rascal! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll grab your little hands, clasp them together, and then we'll both get down on our knees and pray for your immortal soul!
- Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: I am sorely lamenting the rampant debeautification of my adopted country.
- Bart: Spare change... Spare change... Must make... Prank calls! Must buy.. Spray paint!
- Barney Gumble: My goodness! It's so disheartening to see such wasted potential.