Ralph's Poetry Corner

Ralph's Poetry Corner is a collection of eighteen poems by Ralph Wiggum in The Ralph Wiggum Book.

The Little Ringworm

I have a little ringworm with tiny ruby rings. He plays among my head and hair and in my ear he sings. He dances on my scalp and skin so happy all the day, And then he spreads his scabby wings and softly flakes away.

Monday

I ate a little mud pie, And then i aste some ants. I drank out of the fish tank, And then I wet my pants.

Snowflakes

This snowflake tastes like fish sticks. This one tastes like cake mix. This one tastes like -- Eeeewwww!

The Other Little Ringworm

The roses are angry. The violets are, too. My head is scratchy. I need a shampoo.

I Dress Myself

I dress myself In togs so tight, Mommy thinks I'm a water sprite! I shoe myself In shoes so shines, Daddy thinks He's going blind! I undress myself On our front lawn, Neighbors think I'm A leprechaun!

Tuesday

I took a little doggi-do, And put it up my nose. I rolled it with my finger, And wiped it on my clothes.

The Buzzy Fuzzy Fly

This is the fly That buzzes by And spreads diseases Wherever he pleases.

O, School Bus

O, school bus! Driver up to and fro! Come, honk your horn! And away we go! O, school bus! Driver us low and high! Come, o´er the hill! And away we fly! O, school bus! Drive us up and down! Come, ´round the turn! And... Oo-oooh! I have to barf!

Wednesday

I had a little girlfriend. I gave to her a kiss. She shoved me in the gutter, And now I smell like this.

Be My Friend

Will you be my friend today? We will sit and eat some clay. I'll spit my milk on your lunch tray, And you will scream and run away.

Thursday

I ate an orange crayon. I drank from a big cup. I ate a bruch of cat food, And then I puked it up.

Friday

I passed the schoolyard billies, Who grabbd me by my shirt, Then they stole my money, And pushed me in the dirt.

Saturday

I ate a smelly toadstool, Like a happy little elf. I danced around the meadow, And then I soiled myself.

My Little Nose

Pickety pick! My little nose! It gets picked Like a red, red rose. Sometimes once, And sometimes twice, It gets picked ´Cause it's so nice!

A Special Boy

If all the boys were a boy like me, What a special boy we would be! We'd eat pie and smell all funky. We would buy us all a monkey! If all the boys were a boy like me, Who would chase us up thetree? Who would tease and pull out hair? Who would laugh at out underwear? How could our mommies tell us apart? Would my daddy know me from Bart? If all the boys were a boy like me... Stop! This poem is scaring me!

I Like Paste!

I like the taste Of Paste, And the way It tastes Like paste.

Sunday

I saw a little bluebird A-sitting on its perch. It poppied on my haircut While on my way to church.

Red, Pink, Blue, and Green

I had some red pajamas, Some pajamas that were red. I put them on upside-down, And then I went to bed. I had some pink wormies, Some wormies that were pink. I put them in my cocoa, And then i had a drink. I had some blue Band-Aids Some Band-Aids that were blue. I peeled them off my owie, And then I ate them, too. I had a green something. Something that was green. I pit it in my tummy, And now I don't feel so good. And I don't want to write any more poems.

Appearances

• Book – The Ralph Wiggum Book