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Drinker, Failure, Bowler, Spy/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Moe Szyslak: Homer Simpson, you are... banned! For! Life!
Homer: D'oh! Moe, you can't do this! You have to let me back in!
Moe: Forget it! I been cheated, treated like dirt, and literally stabbed in the back with a rusty spork. But ain't none of that compares to what you did!

Moe: I need to find out Ned's secrets, but he'll see me coming!
Homer: And smell you. You aftershave is pretty strong.
Moe: I got it! You know who they'd never suspect? My best pal, HOmer!
Homer: Me? Really?
Moe: Of course, you lug! Here's what we do you and I have a big fake fight and I pretened to kick you out of the bar. THat's when you go over to Ned's!
Homer: Okay...
Moe: And as soon as NEd takes you in as one of his regulars, he'll tell you all his secrets, which then you'll tell to me!

Homer: [SOB] Moe and I had a big fight!
Ned Flanders: Let me pour you a brew, and you can tell me all about it, friend.
Homer: Flanders, what are you doing?
Ned: Tilting the glass sideways to ensure a better pour?
Homer: No, what are you edoing with your ears while I'm talking?
Ned: Oh, you mean listening?
Homer: Bartenders do that?

Ned: I saw how much you liked my latest brewski, so I gave it a new name. I call it "Homerbrau!"
Homer: [GASP!] You... you named a beer after me? You're a part of this bar! Of course, I did! And more importantly, you're a friend of the old fland-man!
Homer: Aww...
Ned: Now, you were asking me about any secret ingredients of business secrets or hidden weaknesses that I'd like to share?
Homer: Actually, don't tell me any of those. I'll just have another glass of "Homerbrau."

Moe: In honor a' my new outlook. Let's get things started with happy hour for the next thirty minutes.
Homer: Thirty minutes? But that's only half an hour!
Moe: Don't push you luch, buddy.
Homer: Yes, sir.