Stagnant Springs Health Spa
| Stagnant Springs Health Spa | ||
Location Information
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Stagnant Springs Health Spa is a health spa in Stagnant Springs, that was originally exclusive to women. It is famous for when J-Lo hit pee-diddy upside the head with Gary Coleman.
History
The Simpson family were invited for a free weekend at the spa, and decided to take the offer. As an attendant shows the family round, she explains to them how they can take 10 years off a person's face and implant it in their breasts. Bart gets bored, and tells Lisa he's floating a Betarooth down the mineral bath, when the attendant tells the kids that there's something for them too, and asks them whether they like Dr. Seuss. Lisa replies with "No", and the attendant says to Lisa then she's going to love Dr. Mas-Suess. In the area, tiny creatures take care of Lisa, a tickling machine takes care of Maggie, and a person dressed up in red and white clothing massages Bart, and tells him about poor posture. In the mud baths, Marge is being massaged on the neck (and hair) by turtles. When turtles have been used, they are chucked in a plastic bin labeled "USED TURTLES". In a Japenese-themed massage room, Homer's massager is sinking into the fat on his back, with Homer telling her that she needn't bother struggle, as she'll only sink faster. In a yoga class, Marge puts her head back, following the teacher's instructions, and the teacher tells them they should feel a pleasant tingling, when the Yes man replies "I do! I do!", when actually Marge's hair is brushing against his bottom. Then, the teacher tells them to go on all fours, and Marge asks him if she's doing the right position, in which he replies "The American Tax Payer". Homer is in the steam room, and realizes he is with Rainier Wolfcastle, who is naked. Rainier then says to Homer that he can look, as the whole world saw it in one of his movies. He then leaves, and then a person in a hooded white bathrobe approaches the room, and increases the heat of the room to "MURDER" with a huge spanner. He then jams the door with the spanner. Homer begins to sweat and notices a sign on the wall saying "DO NOT USE STEAM ROOM IF YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT OR HAVE A HEART CONDITION". Homer panics and tries to get out, but notices the door is jammed with the spanner. Banging on the door, he faints, and later when Krusty walks by the room, he notices the spanner is jamming it and un-jams it, with Homer falling out, orange and creased. Krusty shouts "Who ordered the steamed jentile", with Homer replying "Mmm...steamed jentile". The police are contacted, and in the end, robber and attempted murderer, Sideshow Bob is brought into help Homer discover who tried to kill him, but Bart exclaims that Homer is putting his life in danger, by saving his own, and says to him "Someday you'll understand when you have kids."
