Difference between revisions of "Burns, Baby Burns/Quotes"

Revision as of 01:32, November 29, 2009

After learning the train has been delayed in Waynesport

Montgomery Burns: Hmm, this could take a good while. Opens crystal bottle of brandy Smithers, how about you get drunk and prance around for my amusement?

Waylon Smithers: I will be a one-man conga line, sir.

Larry: "Wow, this guy is loaded. I mean sheesh. I've never seen a guy with a walk-in mailbox. I mean he's rich. Hey, who am I talking to?"

Larry rings doorbell of Burns residence. Mr. Burns answers

Montgomery Burns: Who are you? How dare you interrupt my lime rickey!

Larry: I...uh...am...

Mr. Burns{interrupting curtly}: You are what?! Selling light bulbs? Worried about the whales? Keen on Jesus? Out with it!

Larry: Mr. Burns, I am your son!

Montgomery Burns: Something is not right about Larry's upbringing. Send for the boys of Yale at once!

Burns' office. Two admissions officers from Yale are by his desk

Mr. Burns: Well, how did the interview go?

Male Admissions Officer: Larry made light of my weight, then suggested my motto ought to be "Semper Fudge". Afterwards he told me to "relax" and "forget about it".

Mr. Burns: OK, OK. How were his test scores?

Female Admissions Officer: Let me put it this way. Larry spelled Yale with a 6.

Mr. Burns, in a not-to-subtle moves, opens his checkbook

Mr. Burns: Oh, I almost forgot, it is time for your annual contribution. How much should I give?

Male Admissions Officer: Let us see. A score of 400 would require new football uniforms. A score of 300 would require a new dormitory.

Mr. Burns: And in Larry's case?

Male Admissions Officer: A new international airport.

Female Admissions Officer: Yale could use an international airport, Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns: Blast you! I am not made of airports! Get out!

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