Tic-Tac-D'oh!/Quotes
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- Clint: All right, contestants. This tank is packed with one-dollar bills, several fives, and for the first time ever, three twenties! And, as usual, the bottom of the barrel is lined with bars of gold! You have one minute to bring up as much money as you can, using your mouth! Ready? Get set... ...go!
- Susan: [GLUB, GLUB, P-otoie!]
- Clint: Congraulations, Susan. You've won forty-six dollars!
- Susan: Thanks, Clint. You know, I think I have a dollar stuck in my throat.
- Clint: Forty-seven dollars! That's super! Well, that's all the time we have today! Join us tomorrow for more "Anything for Dollars!"
- Krusty: Welcome to the show. As you know, there are three bachelors, one swinging bachelorette, blah, blah, blah... let's get to the action.
- Homer: I think I'm on the wrong show is this--
- Krusty: Sit down, fatso. You're ruining the show!
- Homer: Krusty, please, be reasonable. I'm married.
- Krusty: I'm sorry, I still don't understand what the problem is. You can't go on a date because you're married? Look here. You signed this contract, and now you have to on this date. Wife or no wife!
- Mr. Burns: Maybe there' another solution.
- Homer: Another solution? Great, I'll do anything!
- Mr. Burns: Anything?
- Homer: [GASP] My boss, Mr. Burns! What are you doing here?
- Kent Brockman:This is Kent Brockman reporting live outside of Burnsimoto castle. This game show, banned in every state except for our state and, of course, Utah, will soon send three convicts, two mental patients, a homeless guy, a circus freak, and one lazy couch potato to unspeakable and untimely deaths. In this reporter's opinion, just the touch of Darwinism our society needs.
- Marge: Oh my!
- Homer: This is gonna be a piece of cake.
- Homer: Woo-hoo! I escaped! What do I win?
- Krusty: I don't really know. We didn't count on anybody actually escaping. How about a date with our spoeksmodel, Sofia.
- Homer: Woo-hoo! Yes! Er... I mean, why would I want a date with a beautiful woman when I've got my wife? Er, did that come out right, Marge?
- Marge: Not quite, but I know you're trying, Homie. Thank you.
