Marge the Sellout/Quotes
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- Marge: Homer! You have to get rid of all your old "TV Guides"!
- Homer: Oh, here we go. First we had to get rid of Grampa, then we had to get rid of that rabid squirrel in the basement, and now this!
- Marge: do you even keep these?
- Homer: I don't like to throw until I've finished the crossword puzzles.
- Homer: Why are you blocking the door?
- Marge: Well, um... you see... I got a little carried away with the whole eBuy things and...
- Bart: Mom sold all our stuff!
- Homer: Let's stay calm. I'm just going to get a beer out of the fridge. We'll all sit on the couch, watch a little TV, and figure this out.
- Lisa: There's no fridge, no beer, no couch, and no TV!
- Lisa: I checked the records for mom's sales. Almost everything was purchased by the same buyer!
- Bart: What are the odds?
- Homer: 3456.5 to I if you carry the long division!
- Bart: Homer? Why are you here?
- Homer: It's Opposite day, children! Today I'm Professor Homer Simpson P.H.N.Y.P.d! Now if you'll excuse me! I have to help some college kids with their homework!
- Artie Ziff: Homer Simpson! I challenge you!
- Homer: I accept!
- Artie Ziff: You idiot! Yo don't even know what I'm challenging you to!
- Homer: I'm hoping it's a pie-eating contest!
- Artie Ziff: [SIGH] We'll have a quiz about your family! Win and you'll get your things back!
- Homer: And if I win?
- Artie Ziff: Are you even listening? That's what you get if you win. Now if you lose --
- Homer: I accept!
- Artie Ziff: [ARRGH] If you lose I get a date with Marge.
- Marge: No.
- Artie Ziff: Fine. Then a date with your sister patty. Can we just get started?
- Homer: I accept!
- Lisa: Mr. Ziff, what does it feel like to be part of the Simpson family?
- Artie Ziff: I... er... well, that is... I don't know.
- Lisa: Dad?
- Homer: It feels like home.
- Artie Ziff: You win!
- Homer: Ha! In your face, loser!