The Prince and the Penal System/Quotes
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- Seymour Skinner: You've pulled some pretty rotten shenanigans before, Simpson... ...but to steal the coffee from the teacher's lounge... it's just unforgivable!
- Edna: There's nothing here!
- Mr. Largo: That's it! Game over, people!
- Ms. Hoover: I am freaking out!
- Bart: Lis! You'll never guess what happened! I get to be on "Kids 'N' Coins," the show with all the tattooed guys! How awesome is that?
- Lisa: Bart, that's terrible! And aren't you forgetting one thing? Dad watches that show religiously.
- Bart: Oh man, you've right! I've gotta find some sap to take my place, or Homer will triple strangle me!
- Bart: Hey, nerdlinger. Guess what I got? A ticket to... uh... see.... the... um... The new Aerospace Museum!
- Martin Prince: [GASP!] That's been sold out for weeks! Oh my! I'd give anything to see that!
- Bart: Trade me that lunch, and the ticket's yours!
- Martin Prince: Oh, frabjous day!
- Bart: Heh heh. Sucker.
- Martin Prince: That's right, Mr. Ice Pick. Knit one, purl two.
- Mr. Ice Pick: Wow, that Is going to look great in my cell! Thanks, little bro!
- Fat Tony: This little fat kid has rekindled my fascination with the magic of chemistry. Remind me to rescind the order to have him watched in the prison yard.
- Legs: Sure thing, boss!
- Snake: Dude! This fantasy role-playing adventure is awesome! I'm an actual snake!
- Martin Prince: Huzzah!
- Martin Prince: Welcome friend! Take out your felt-tripped pens for our daily crossword puzzle affirmation! One across... five letter word for prison or Gumby's horse.
- Homer: I used to think Martin was a wiener, but that kid is a winner! Boy why don't to do anything like that?
- Bart: Wuh?!
- Lisa: And he gets excused from the school while he's filming! How does that sound, Bart?
- Bart: Urgh! Irony, you win again!