Yes, Flanders, There is a Santa Claus/Quotes
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- Rev. Lovejoy: I'd like to start this years' Christmas sermon with a sad confession.
- Helen Lovejoy: Oh, dear!
- Agnes Skinner: He's gonna 'fess up to having a taste of communion wine, isn't he?
- Rev. Lovejoy: I must confess that I am disappointed. Christmas has become so commercialized that I believe its meaning is lost on you.
- Todd: Daddy, have you lost it?
- Ned: No, I haven't
- Rev. Lovejoy: You people marginalize Christmas more and more, every year. You put more emphasis upon chestnut roasting, egg nogging, and gift wrapping than what the day is really about.
- Ned: Pardon the interruption, but don't you think you're being a tas harsh on the good ol' flock?
- Rev. Lovejoy: Don't take my word for it. Hear it from the mouth babes! Bart Simpson, what does Christmas mean to you?
- Ned: Huh?
- Bart: It means I'm gettin' the new "Grand Theft Skateboard" game for my X-station!
- Rev. Lovejoy: Lisa, can you tell us about Christmas?
- Lisa: Sure. It actually evolved from the roman pagan festival. 'Dies natalis solis invicti.' The winter solstice...
- Rev. Lovejoy: Thank you. That's enough! Finally, let's try Ralph Wiggum.
- Ralph: Christmas is a birthday party!
- Rev. Lovejoy: Good! Who's birthday?
- Ralph: Santa's!
- Ned: [SIGH!] I guess he's right.
- Rev. Lovejoy: Christmas is not "x-mas." Christmas is not about cancy canes or mistletoe. It's not about Duff's seasonal jingle brew!
- Bart: Mmm... I forgot that's hit the shelves by now!
- Rev. Lovejoy: I challenge you all to remember why we celbrate every December. Here's a hint. It's not Santa! Santa Claus does not exist!
- Bart: Hey, guys, what are you doing?
- Rod: Putting out the trash.
- Lisa: You're throwing our Christmas decorations?
- Rod: The reverend said we've made Christmas into a commerical, so daddy wants all this tuff gone.
- Todd: Daddy says Santa doesn't exist.
- Bart: Why are you chucking the Thanksgiving stuff?
- Rod: Daddy didn't want to take any cahnces.
- Ned: Boys, let's get a moo-diddly-oove on. THere's stilll tinsel to be shredded!
- Todd: [Sigh!] I liked Santa.
- Rod: C'mon Todd. We've got halls to undeck.
- Lisa: Do you doubt that your sons know the spirtual significance of Christmas?
- Ned: Well... no. I know they know.
- Lisa: Even though Christmas is a Christmas holiday, it is observed by many non-Christmas it's a season when people try a little harder to be good to one another. Santa is a symbol of that. The warmth and goodwill of Christmas time brings out the best in people. Sure, the "red and white" version that we're familar with today was manufacted by a Cola company, but that doesn't change the fact that Santas is a symbol of peach and joy. Don't take the joy away from Rod and Todd.
- Snake: Bart Simpson!
- Bart: Snake! You're breaking into houses dressed as Santa on Christmas Eve? That's low!
- Snake: Oh, yeah? Why are you sneaking around in your neighbors' house dressed like jolly old St. Nick?
- Bart: Well...
- Snake: Merry Christmas, little dudes.
- Rod: A Malibu Stacy calculator!
- Todd: What's this?
- Rod: It's a video game. But you can't play it without a Gamestation.
- Todd: I still like it! It's shiny!
- Bart: Aw, man, Snake musta hit our house first! Those were OUR presents!
