Otto's Gnarly Snowboarder's Glossary

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Otto's Gnarly Snowboarder's Glossary

Comic Story information Released: November 2007 Comic series: The Simpsons Winter Wingding Pages: 2 Written by: Tony DiGerolamo

The contents of this article are based on an issue of Simpsons Comics or another comic series and is considered to be non-canon and may not have actually happened/existed. The reason behind this decision is: .

Otto's Gnarly Snowboarder's Glossary (subtitled For When You Need to Comp a Boarder's Lingo) is a Simpsons Winter Wingding story that appears in The Simpsons Winter Wingding #2. The comic was later reprinted in The Simpsons: Homer For the Holidays and The Simpsons Annual 2010.

Synopsis

Otto gives the readers tips on snowboarding lingo.

Plot

Otto begins by pointing to the title graphic and saying that "gnarly" means it "totally shreds". He then says that snowboarding is not just a sport, but also a lifestyle and a language as well as a way to slide down a hill. And if you don't understand the language, you could end up lost in more ways than one.

To illustrate his point, Otto cites the example of Dolph and Kearney snowboarding down a hill. Dolph spouts off a stream of snowboarder lingo: "Hey, dude! This tight hill has like a total bulletproof S-rail coming up. Better duckfoot that phat board, or you'll be doing a sick fakie hip!" Kearney, not understanding, says "Huh?" with a blank expression on his face. Just then, the hill ends in a cliff. Dolph makes a sharp turn at the last second and slides along the edge. Kearney, however, misses the turn and goes over the edge, screaming as he falls.

"Don't let this happen to you", Otto warns. "Here's what should've happened."

We see the same scene of Dolph and Kearney snowboarding down the hill. Dolph spouts off the same stream of snowboarder lingo as before. This time, Kearney smiles and says "Wicked!" At the bottom of the hill, however, events repeat themselves, as Dolph makes the turn while Kearney again misses it and goes over the cliff edge.

Otto, somewhat chagrined, admits that Kearney still ended up falling off the cliff. "But at least he understood what the other dude said!" Otto then says that the reader can also understand, by using "this handy snowboarder's translator", which is a table of snowboarder slang terms and their English translations:

Snowboarder English That hill shreds. That hill will probably break somebody's collarbone. Whoa, dude! You're harshin' my buzz! My enthusiasm wanes as you speak to me. Boarders rule! Skiers drool! I prefer to snowboard. Skiing is déclassé. Man, I totally surfed that 'lanche! I was nearly killed by an avalanche today! Bogus! My dew's been breached. Gracious! Someone drank my soda. I have to blast a dookie. I have to go to the bathroom. Wow, that chick did a tight! Who is she? I am enamored of that woman's snow rodeo. Perhaps I will talk to her. Dude! Check it! Pay attention to me, good friend, for I am an expert snowboarder, and if you don't look, my amazing trick will be history, just like sands through an hourglass lost in the winds of time.