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Featured Article

The list below is almost complete.

Alfreds

Alamance Alfred is the main character, a conservative who lives on welfare and drinks beer.
Josie Alfred is Alfred's mother, who lives in Graham.
Jackie Alfred is the dead father.
Gary Alfred is the grandfather.
Jane Alfred is the grandmother.
Uncle Jason is the moonshine uncle.
Lord Pee is Alfred's weird cousin.
Al Fred Alfred is Alfred's upper-class cousin.
Winkenstein Alfred is Uncle Jason's son.
Moonshine brother of Gary

Bobbulas

Randall Bobbula is Alfred's vandalizin' friend.
Wendy Bobbula is Randall's wife.
Danietta Bobbula is Randall's submissive daughter.
Barnes the Croboy is Randall's annoying brother.

Matthews

Jed Matthews is a moonshine redneck friend of Alfred
Clara Matthews is Jed's sexy daughter, who is Alf's love interest.
Gramma and Grampa Matthews are Clara's grandparents.
Jake Matthews is Jed's annoying son.

McGrath

Seamus "Master" McGrath is Alfred's friend, a substitute Gaelic teacher.
Loony Larry McGrath is one of Crazy Jeff's customers. Seamus's brother.
Harry McGrath is Seamus's other brother.

Cook

Miranda "Randy" Cook, usually called "Mr. Cook", is a greedy politician. Likes drinking with Alfred.
William Cook is the Geezer-Father of Mr. Cook.
Jefferson Davis "Crazy Jeff" Cook is Mr. Cook's cousin, who claims he has a great esteat when he actually has a bad one.

Mill Workers

Lars is a tall mill worker,
Brad is a short one.
Luke is the medium-sized one.
Unnamed mill worker

Corbins

Ben Corbin is Alf's housekeeper.
Tliklins Corbinis Ben's sexist father.

Vordermeers

Derfhiggen Vordermeer is Alfred's Armenian "friend".
Driddheim is the bratty son.
Entweiler is the wife who stayed in Armenia.
Wirhes is Derf's sister.

Lodikrap

Jake Lodikrap is an evil hippie.
Bill Lodikrap is Jake's conservative brother.

Others

H.E.L.L. Criminal who killed Alf's father.
Erica Wimblinstein is a Goth girl.
Me is a TBH.
Admiral Wombat is a spoof of Captain Cangaroo. Stars of Admiral Wombat include:

Mr. Chicken is a chicken who is afraid of being Kentucky-fried.

The Colonel tries to destroy Mr. Chicken.

Mark Moron is the name of a kid who becomes a supehero called Carlow Crab. Inspiration for the show "The Carlow Crab".

Wicklow Wasp is the Crab's main enemy.

Lord Steiner is a German Guy.

Mr. Robinson is the obese boss at the mill.
Danny Faintomb A biker who knew Corbin.
Scarab Guy in a Scarab Suit who mutilates Clara.
Mr. MacEnis is a giant penis.
Merfhiggen Morderveer is an anti-Armenia idiot. For more information see this.
Dumb Dawg is a dumb dawg.
Sith Johnson is a mill owner.
Camden Countysman is an annoying guy from the NC coast.
Lyndon Johnson is Sith's brother.
Nelson Arlenass is an astronaut from Burlington.
Wallace Ihitballs is a thug and friend of H.E.L.L.
Laughnaugh McShaugnhaugn is the normal Gaelic teacher.
Taughnaugh McShaugnaughn is Laughnaugh's Cona Hahahahahahhahahahhahhaahat hottie wife.
Wachaun is a good Gaelic speaker and friend of Laughnaugh.
Wikipedia Morderveer is Merfhiggen's father who hates Derfhiggen.
Mailman is a buffoonish mailman.
Trent Burns is a bad student at the Gaelic class.
Tara is a cheerleader.
Tilikia Wallburg is a popular jerk at the Gaelic class.
Samantha is Erica's friend.
Luben Becker is another German guy. He owns a store often visited by Alf.
Stuben Becker is Luben's snobby brother.
Unnamed hottie who appears in Luben's store.
Joe Stenbert is the head of the Stenbert family of West Burlington.
Mr. Potts is a grumpy old man who killed a Chapel Hill dweller.
Bartholomew Breastenheimer is a yuppie from Chapel Hill.
Farley Canns is the owner of a junkyard.
Cory Nathan is a receptionist at Jake's Healing Center.
Ronny Wing owns a gun store!
Fred Lipschitz works at the gun store. He is married to Gerald.
Gerald McGraham is Fred's gay lover. He works at Sith's mill.
Unnamed friends of Tilikia
Mary Stenbert is Joe's wife.
Talking Towers are some talking towers that were born in Greensboro, but go to Burlington to torment Jake Lodikrap.
Arthur is a guy who helps the poor. He replaced Alfred in "Zorgin Hmorgin's Alamance Arthur".
Zorgin Hmorgin sometimes appears.
The Gay Club is a club in Chapel Hill that Jake belongs to. Consists of 12 people.