Separate Vocations/Quotes
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- Lisa: Dear Log: This will be my last entry. For you were a journal of my hopes and dreams, and now I have none.
- Dr. Pryor: Here's your scientifically selected career.
- Janey: Architect.
- Kid: Insurance salesman,
- Ralph: Salmon gutter?
- Milhouse: Military strongman!
- Martin{talking to himself while crossing his fingers}: Systems analyst. Systems analyst.
- Dr. Pryor: Systems analyst.
- Martin: All right!
- Lisa: Homemaker?
- Dr. Pryor: Mm-hm. It's like a mommy.
- Bart: Police officer? Well, I'll be jiggered.
- Dr. Pryot: I am going to be blunt with you, Bart. Before this test, I was thinking you would become a drifter.
- Bart: A drifter? Even better!
- Bart imagines himself as a full-grown man. He is scruffy, unkempt, and smoking a cigarette while trying to hitchhike in the rain.
- Bart{talking to himself}: That lousy sheriff thinks he can banish me from his town? Well, I ought to go back and teach him a lesson about the right to travel!
- Lisa plays a saxophone solo for a jazz musician.
- Jazz musician: I did not like it.
- Lisa: Oh! How come?
- Jazz musician: The playing was good, but unfortunately you have a disabling condition known as "stubbiness". Your fingers are too short. It mostly is found on the father's side.
- Simpsons residence. Homer drops a can of beer.
- Homer{talking to himself}: D'oh! Stupid stubby fingers!
- Principal Skinner: Some sick individual has stolen every "Teacher's Edition!"
- Teacher #1: What do we do?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Declare a snow day!
- Teacher #2: Does anyone know the multiplication table?
- Teacher #3 is in class smoking a cigarette appearing nervous to his class.
- Teacher #3: Have I ever told any of you about the 1960s?
- Miss Hoover: Now sprinkle your sparkles on your paste. Lisa, you're not sprinkling your sparkles.
- Lisa: Shove it.
- Lisa: Bart, why did you take the blame?
- Bart: Because I didn't want you to wreck your life. You got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want. And when you do, I'll be right there to borrow money.
