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Lisa's Substitute/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
< Lisa's Substitute
Revision as of 16:45, November 20, 2010 by Tipota (talk)


Season 2 Episode Quotes
"Brush With Greatness"
032
"Lisa's Substitute"
"The War of the Simpsons" 033


(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")

Bart: "…and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept."
All: "EWW!!"
Bart: "We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her."
All: "EWWWWW!!"
Martin: "Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!"
Mrs. Krabappel: "As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!"
Bart: "Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in."

(The whole classroom screams)


Mr. Bergstrom is leading the second grade in a rendition of "Home on the Range".
Janey: (Laughing) "Lisa, look at this!"
Lisa unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of Mr. Bergstrom singing.
Caricature #1: [THE SINGING DORK.]
Lisa is caught by Mr. Bergstrom.
Mr. Bergstrom: "Did you draw this?"
Lisa: "No, of course not! Uh, although now I almost wish I did."
Mr. Bergstrom: "I like it. I was going to request if I may have it."
Lisa: "Oh sure!"
Lisa gives caricature to Mr. Bergstrom, who continues the song.
Janey: (Whispering) "Lisa, look at this!"
Lisa unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of herself singing.
Caricature #2: [THE SINGING DORKETTE.]

Lisa sees Miss Hoover has returned.
Lisa: "Where is Mr. Bergstrom?!"
Miss Hoover: "I do not know, but I would sure like to have words with him!"
Miss Hoover: "He didn't touch my lesson plan. What did he teach you?"
Lisa: "That life is worth living."

Miss Hoover: "You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be" (Spells on blackboard) "psychosomatic."
Ralph: "Does that mean you're crazy?"
Janey: "No, that means she was faking it."
Miss Hoover: "No, actually, it was a little of both."

Lisa: "You, sir, are a baboon!"
Homer: (gasp) "Me?"
Lisa: "Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!"
Homer: "I don't think you realize what you're saying…"
Lisa: "BABOON!"

Homer: "Lisa, don't hold anything back, you can tell me. Are you crying 'cause you called daddy a baboon?"
Lisa: "No!"
Homer: "Nuts. I know you are sad because you lost a man you care about. I cannot relate because everyone I care about is under this roof. In a way I consider myself lucky. If you want think I am a baboon I can be one."
Homer makes monkey noises and apes about Lisa's bedroom, which makes her laugh.
Homer: "So are we all well?"
Lisa: "Yes, Dad."
Bart's bedroom. He is angrily throwing a rubber ball against the wall.
Bart:(talking to himself) "Stupid Martin Prince!"
Homer enters bedroom.
Homer: "Bart, does the class president get paid?"
Bart: "No."
Homer: "Does he have to do extra work?"
Bart: "Yes."
Homer: "And is this Martin Prince going to get to do anything neat, like throw out the first ball at the World Series?"
Bart: "Hell no!"
Homer: "So let the baby have his bottle! That is what I always tell myself."
Bart: "Thanks, Dad."


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