Homer's Night Out/Quotes

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	Season 1 Episode Quotes
← 009 "Life on the Fast Lane"	010 "Homer's Night Out"	"The Crepes of Wrath" 011 →

Mr. Burns: What in blue blazes do you think you're doing, Simpson?!

Homer: What do you mean, sir?

Mr. Burns: I mean this! (holds up the picture)

(Homer gasps)

Mr. Burns: A plant employee carrying on like an over-sexed orangutan in heat! This is a family nuclear power plant, Simpson. Our research indicates that over fifty percent of our power is used by women. (wrinkles up the picture into a ball) I will not have you offending my customers with your bawdy shenanigans!

Homer: It won't happen again, sir, I promise! Can I get outta' your sight now?

Mr. Burns: Wait a minute, Simpson! Smithers, could you please leave the room?

Smithers: Yes, sir.

Mr. Burns: (sadly) Simpson... I am, by most measures, a successful man. I have wealth and power beyond the dreams of you and your clock-punching ilk. And yet, I've led a solitary life. The fair sex remains a mystery to me. You seem to have a way with women. A certain, how should I put it?... "Animal magnétisme". (begging) Help me, Simpson. Tell me your secret.

Homer: Uh, Mr. Burns, in spite of what everybody thinks, I'm no loverboy.

Mr. Burns: (pleasantly) Simpson, I'm asking you nicely.

Homer: I don't really know, sir--

Mr. Burns: (angrily) Simpson!

Homer: (scared) Well, oh, wine 'em! Dine 'em. Bring them flowers. Write them love poetry... sir.

Mr. Burns: Of course! It's simplicity itself! I won't forget this, Simpson. (angrily) Now return to your work! And tell no one of what transpired here.

---

Lisa: (saw Bart trying to take a picture of his butt) Ew, gross. Mom! Bart was taking a picture of his butt!

Bart: Oh, sure, like I'm really gonna take a picture of my butt.