Bart Has Two Mommies/Quotes

General

References/Trivia

Appearances

Gags

Credits

Quotes

Quotes

• Bart: "Why does God need our money?"
  Homer: "He has to finish paying off the planets. Did you see that ring He gave Saturn?"

• Bart (as he and Rod climb down the church steeple): "Don't let our hands touch it's gay."
  Rod: "What does 'gay' mean?"
  Bart: "Um, It means...you used to be afraid...but you're not anymore."
  Rod: (shouting down at Flanders) "I'm gay, Daddy! I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay!"
  Marge: (laughs nervously) "I believe he's saying...he's okay."

• Homer: "What are you talking about? Monkeys don't have feelings. If they did, my experiments on them could be called cruel."

• Homer: (sarcastic tone) "Oh, you're so right! I guess I should be more concerned with Bart's safety than covering my own butt! And maybe I'm talking like this because I can't stop! Help me, Lisa, I have serious mental problems!"

• Ned: (gasp) "A sliver from a band-aid wrapper! Call me Ned Zeppelin, but is one of my boys abraised and contused?!"
  Todd: "I cut myself on the knife playing Christian Clue."
  Rod: "The secular humanist in the school house with misinformation!"

• Rod: (praying) "And please thank Mrs. Simpson for giving as much fun as we had when Mommy was here."
  Marge: "Aw."
  Todd: (praying) "And please ask Mommy to come to Daddy in a dream so he knows how to cut our sandwiches."
  Marge: "Aw."
  Rod: (praying) "And please tell Mrs. Simpson it's rude to eavesdrop on our prayers."
  Marge: (surprised) "Oh."
  Rod: (praying) "But we forgive her."
  Marge: "Ooooo."