Lisa's Date with Density/Quotes

Quotes

Groundskeeper Willie: And that's how Willie waters. Now you take the hoose.

Nelson: The moose?

Groundskeeper Willie: The hoose! The hoose!

Nelson: Is this right?

(Nelson intentionally sprays water at Willie)

Groundskeeper Willie: Ack! Turn off the noozle!!

Nelson: Noodles?! What noodles?!

Groundskeeper Willie: The noozle at the end of the hoose! ACK!

Lisa has been sent to detention and is made to repeatedly write on the blackboard

Lisa's chalkboard saying: I WILL NOT BE A SNICKERPUSS.

Lisa{talking to herself}: How does Bart do this every week?

Marge: Homer, I do not like what you are doing.

Homer: Just wait Marge, this will make us a lot of money. I have programmed it to call every single number in Springfield. Watch.

AT-5000 auto dialer begins war dialing

Mr. Burns: Ahoy hoy.

Homer: Greetings friend. Do you wish to be as happy as me? Well, you have the power right inside of you. So use it. And send $1 to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace.

Mr. Burns hangs up, then takes a one dollar bill out of his wallet

Mr. Burns{talking to himself}: Hmm. Eternal happiness for one dollar? Beh, I would be happier with the dollar.

Lisa: Mom? What if there is a boy you like but he is ill-mannered and does not like others?

Marge: You know Lisa, a lot of women are going to tell you that you are a fool to think you can change a man, but those women are quitters!

Professor Frink: Hello?

Homer: Greetings friend. Do you wish to be as happy as me? Well, you have the power right inside of you. So use it. And send $1 to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace.

Professor Frink: Oy! Well I will be! If it is not the AT-5000, my invention! Aw, will you look at the crud they have you babbling? Why, you were designed for activities such as alerting children of snow days and such. Well, let us get you home to Frinky.

Professor Frink dails several numbers, which makes the AT-5000 grow legs and roll outside of Simpsons residence, which is seen by Homer

Homer: Oh no, you don't!

Homer removes rolling legs from AT-5000

Lisa and Nelson are observing the Skinner residence from pay binoculars on Springfield bluff. Skinner is annoyed at having to clean up this mess.

Nelson: Just wait until Skinner sees what I left in his birdbath!

Skinner: Noooo!

Lisa's time with the pay binoculars has expired and the lens are capped.

Lisa: I thought you said you were not there.

Nelson: Oh yeah, well I was. So what?

Lisa: You lied to me Nelson. You had me protect you claiming you were falsely accused when in fact you were guilty of vandalizing someone's house.

Nelson: Ah? So what? Come on, let us kiss!

Lisa: No, Nelson. A kiss does not mean anything if it is dishonest.

Last lines of episode

Homer: Hello, this is Homer Simpson, a.k.a. "Happy Dude". I have been ordered by the courts to call up every number I war dailed and apologize for my flim flam. I am sorry. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, send $1 to Sorry Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace.Template:Season 8 Q