The Day the Violence Died (Medley)

The Amendment Song is a parody of the popular Schoolhouse Rock! song "I'm Just a Bill," even going so far as using the original singer, Jack Sheldon. It is briefly shown as a replacement for Itchy & Scratchy on The Krusty the Clown Show in the episode The Day the Violence Died. Both the music and lyrics were written by John Swartzwelder.

Lyrics

Krusty:

Well, Itchy & Scratchy are gone. But here's a cartoon that tries to make learning fun. (laughs and then groans) Sorry about this kids, but we have some real good toy commercials coming up. I swear!

Kid:

Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of congress?

Amendment:

I'm not garbage.

I'm an Amendment-to-Be,

Yes, an Amendment-to-Be,

And I'm hopin' that they'll ratify me.

There's a lot of flag burners

Who have got too much freedom,

I wanna make it legal

For policemen to beat 'em.

'Cos there's limits to our liberties,

Least I hope and pray that there are,

'Cos those liberal freaks go too far.

Kid:

Why can't we just make a law against flag burning?

Amendment:

Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we change the Constitution—

Kid:

Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws.

Amendment:

Now you're catching on.

Bart:

What the hell is this?

Lisa:

It's one of those campy '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation X-ers.

Bart:

We need another Vietnam, then out their ranks a little.

Kid:

What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?

Amendment:

Then I'll crush all opposition to me,

And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay.

If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay.

Congressman:

Great news, Amendment! They ratified ya! You're in the U.S. Constitution!

Amendment:

Oh yeah! Doors open, boys!

(various amendments storm the steps of congress whooping, cheering and bringing guns and bombs)

Lisa:

So it's true! Some cartoons do encourage violence! (hits Bart)

Bart:

Ow!