The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace/Quotes

Quotes

Homer: They won't let me in the big people library downtown. There was some...unpleasantness. I can never go back.

Marge: I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.

(Bart, visiting Homer in the basement)

Bart: Hey Dad, heard you swearin'. Mind if I join in? Crap, boobs, crap!

(Kent Brockman, delivering his nightly broadcast)

Kent: Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth.

Homer: Marge, that's it! That's why I haven't done anything with my life! I need to be more like Thomas Edison!

Marge: Whatever.

Homer: And I'm starting right now! No more damn pajamas!

(Homer gets out of bed, takes off his pajamas, and throws them out the window. Homer stands naked, calling out)

Homer: From this day forward, I am an inventor!

(A man walking his dog calls up to Homer)

Man: Do us a favor. Invent yourself some underpants.

(Homer sits at a card table in the basement, smoking a cigar, trying to think of inventions)

Lisa: You started smoking, Dad?

Homer: Yes, Thomas Edison smoked several cigars a day.

(Bart holds up Homer's empty notepad)

Bart: Yeah, he invented stuff, too.

Homer: Shut up.