Smithers' Guide/Quotes

Quotes

Mr. Burns: Good heavens, Smithers. That was the last vial of Oil of Vitriol. Displease me again, and you're fired! Now, out of my sight!

Waylon Smithers: I'm sorry, sir.

Mr. Burns: And slam the door on yourself when you leave!

Smithers: Oh, he's right! I'm toadying when I should be kowtowing, and my groveling isn't as slavish as it used to be. What's a yes-man to do?

Mr. Burns: Maybe it's time for a new lap dog. Let's see who's in the pound... Hmm. Nobody plays second banana like a former vice-president.

Smithers: "...Remember the three "C"s. Cower, cringe, compliment." I can do that in my sleep! According to this book, I'm doing everything right! Where can I turn? Well, I've tried the best that quick-fix advice books have to offer. I guess the next logical step is the alcohol-infused wisdom of the common man.

Homer: ...And let me tell you one thing for sure! They haven't made a relationship problem that can't be solved by five simple words: "Honey-have-you-lost-weight?" I guarantee it!

Marge: Homer, why has your pay check been reduced by half?

Homer: Ummm... Gee, honey, have you lost weight?