The Artist Formerly Known as Bart/Quotes
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- Apu: Here are you, Bart Simpson. Drink it slowly, as I fear the consequences of brain freeze on a per-sonage of your age.
- Bart: Don't sweat it, Apu. There isn't a squishee on Earth that can freeze this diabolical brain.
- Bart: I would love to have your life. You get to be on television and make truckloads of money by merchandising your name and likeness. You even have your own comic book. I can't imagine what that would be like.
- Biff Westwood: Sure, it has its moments, but there are drawbacks, too. I'm never in one town long enough to make any friends. I can't go anywhere without being mobbed. I never get a home-cooked meal. I'm so busy doing magazine, television, and radio interviews that I have no time ofr my real interest in life, the study of history. Sometimes I wish I could take a break from it all and just be a regular kid for a couple of days.
- Bart: How does right now sound? C'mere, I've got a plan.
- Lisa: Oh, my gosh! Biff and Bart are identical! IT all makes sense now! They must have switched places! You're Biff Westwood, aren't you?! I've always dreamed of meeting you, but in the deepest recesses of my fertile imagination I never thought it would happen like this.
- Biff Westwood: And I've dreamed of meeting someone like you. I've always wanted a sister to look after and who'll look after me.
- Lisa: You have?
- Biff Westwood: I'm just sad that It all has to end tomorrow night before Krusty's live show when Bart and I switched back.
- Lisa: But Krusty's anniversary shows are never live, he just says that to get better ratings! The taping is tonight.
- Biff Westwood: It is? Oy, la bamba! We've got to find Bart right away!
- Seymour Skinner: As you can see, Bart's grades have always been in this area --
- Edna Krabappel: Excuse me principal Skinner, that's the wrong chart.
- Seymour Skinner: Look, Mrs. Simpson, I don't need graphs and cahrts to remind you that your son is, and always will be, and underachiever.
- Marge: Now listen here, Principal SKinner. Bart may not have always been a model student, but people change. The Bart I've know thest past 24 ours is hard-working student with excellent study habits and a talent for making delicious foreign desserts.
- Seymour Skinner: I whould consider accepting this istant transformation if Bart successfully answers a few impromptu history questions.
- Lisa: I see no reason why mr brother should be subjected to a cross examination when he's already proved--
- Biff Westwood: [as Bart] I don't mind. Go ahead, fire way.
- Marge: Thank you so much for helping me with the dishes and for making that delicious dessert, Bart.
- Biff Westwood: [as Bart] My pleasure. There's something very zen about doing dishes.
