Bart the Fink/Quotes

Quotes

[The Simpsons each receive $100 in a bequest from Great-Aunt Hortense, who has recently passed away. Marge takes the kids to the bank to deposit their money.]

Marge: "You'll feel better knowing your money's is in the hands of professionals."

Bank Clerk: [wearing an ape mask] "Uk, uk. Are you folks ready to go ape?"

Lisa: [protesting] "Mom ..."

Marge: "A professional in an ape mask is still a professional."

[In the Cayman Islands, a representative of the Cayman Islands Offshore Holding Coporation has just received a phone call, inquiring about Krusty the Clown's account.]

Representative: "I'm sorry, I cannot divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account."

[The representative hangs up the phone, then does a double take as he realizes what he just did.]

Representative: "Oh crap, I shouldn't have said he was a customer. Oh crap, I shouldn't have said it was a secret. Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal! [sighs resignedly]] Oh, it's too hot today."

[Thanks to Bart's alerting the bank about Krusty's Cayman Islands account, Krusty has been arrested. The bank clerk fills Bart in on what's happened.]

Bank Clerk: "It turns out Krusty is one of the biggest tax cheats in history, and they nailed him, all thanks to you. Some might say you're a hero, kid. Not me, though. I love Krusty."

[Bart groans.]

[On the evening news, Kent Brockman reports on Krusty's arrest and Bart's role in it. Bart feels remorseful.]

Bart: "Krusty's my hero. How could I do this to him?"

Lisa: "It's a tragedy for all us kids, but Bart, don't beat yourself up over it."

Bart: "Yeah. There'll be plenty of people to do that for me at recess tomorrow."

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