Midnight Towboy/Quotes

Quotes

(Bart uses an exact-o knife to extract the word “whore” from the Bible and he pins it up on his bulletin board along with a few others.)
Bart: We can say these swears anytime we want because they’re in the Bible!
Milhouse: I don’t think “Leviticus” is a swear.
Bart: Shut the hell up, you damn ass whore!

Homer: When you married a man who would years later, without warning, become a tow-truck driver, you knew what the deal would eventually be.

Carl: It sure is nice not having Homer around to tell us where we can and can't park.
Lenny: Yeah. Without the crushing rule of law, society will do a better job of regulating itself.

Bed Time Krusty Doll: Don't let the bed bugs bite! Krusty's anti-bed bug spray sold separately; may contain poison.

(Homer celebrates his new job, while at Moe’s.)
Homer: I’ve got tow dough I’m lookin’ to blow, Moe.
(Homer spreads some money on the bar.)
Moe: Huh?
Homer: I’m buying a round of the fanciest drink you got.
Moe: Four “Lobster-politans” comin’ up.

Ned Flanders: Top of the mornin', Tow-mer.
Homer: It's Homer, idiot.
Ned Flanders: (Chuckles) So it is. I'm just here to pay the fine for the Sunday School bus. You towed it with the kids still in it.
Homer: (Chuckles) I guess I'm more powerful than God now.
Ned Flanders: You know what they say: "With great power comes great responsibility."
Homer: Who said that?! I'll kill them with my power!

Marge: Bart, I’m starting to worry about your father.
Bart: Well, I know he seems to get dumber every year, but lately he’s plateaued.