Trash of the Titans/Quotes

Quotes

Homer{talking to himself}: Lousy, rotten stinking...hate world! Eww...garbage water!

Garbage truck drives by Simpson residence. Homer chases after it.

Homer: Truck, stop! I have garbage! Hey, thanks for nothing you trash-eating stinkbags!

Truck reverses itself towards Homer.

Garbageman #1: What did you say?

Homer{nervous}: Uh, gee, I do not know...there are so many people...who knows who said what?

Garbageman #2: You called us trash-eating stinkbags.

Garbageman #1: Did you not learn anything from Love Day?

Homer: That was yesterday, morons.

Simpson residence. Homer enters kitchen with his pyjamas stuffed with garbage and wearing an orange rind for a hat.

Homer: Good news everyone! I got in a fight with the garbagemen and as a result they are cutting us off from city santitation services!

Marge: Oh no! That means the garbage will pile up and we will live in a dump!

Homer: I would rather live in a dump than in a world full of snooty garbagemen!

Lisa: Dad, is this one of those situations which could be solved with a simple apology?

Homer: Homer J. Simpson never apologizes! I am sorry, but that is just the way I am.

Marge: Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me again.

Homer: That's not how she tells it.

Garbage is piling up on the front lawn of Simpson residence.

Ned Flanders{talking to himself}: That is it Ned, take it easy, do not breathe in any fumes.

Garbage falls on Ned.

Ned Flanders: Homer!

Homer in on second floor.

Homer: Sorry Ned, I did not see you down there!

Homer{to Bart}: Woo hoo! Got him!

Ned Flanders: Homer, that is what I came to speak with you about. I do not want to be a Fussy Freddy, but Maude's parents are coming to visit me next week, and my in-laws are very touchy about odors.

Homer: Well! Then you had better seal all your windows before the sun hits Diaper Hill!

Homer motions to a pile of Maggie's used diapers. Rod is seen atop the pile.

Rod Flanders: Look at me Daddy, I am king of the mountain!

Ned Flanders: Rod! Get down from there!

Bono: What the!..Bloody Hell!

Paul McGuiness (U2 Manager): Who are you? This is off limits.

Homer (with Irish Accent): Potato Man.

Paul McGuiness: Where the bloody hell have you been? Get in there!

(Homer has taken over the video wall. The shots of the U2 bandmembers disappear and are replaced by Homer)

Homer: Hey there everyone. I know you like your music but that you are also concerned about the race for sanitation commissioner. I am here to give you the 911!

Homer walks out on stage and is booed

Bono: Hold on people, he is talking about waste management! And that issue effects the whole damn planet!

Other members of U2 roll their eyes as Bono is going off on a political rant

Larry: 'Ere we go again! Want to duck out to Moe's for a pint?

The Edge: May I come?

Larry: Let me think about it....No.

The Edge: Wankers.

Homer wins the election. He gets the news looking at a newspaper dispenser

Newspaper headline: SIMPSON WINS IN LANDSLIDE. Says "crazy promises" key to victory.

Homer: Woo hoo!

Lisa: Dad, are you not going to buy it?

Homer: 50¢? Not likely.

An angry Mayor Quimby comes into Homer's office

Mayor Quimby: Simpson, you idiot! You spent the year's budget in a month! Your department is broke!

Homer: Wait! I do believe I have the perfect plan!

Quimby: You had better, because those garbagemen will not work for free!

Homer: DOH!

Homer: Oh ho! Ray Patterson was right, Marge. I am crashing and burning. Crashing and burning!

Marge reviews expense reports.

Marge: How on Earth could you have spent $4.6 million in one month?

Homer: They let me sign checks with a stamp, Marge. A stamp!

Lisa: You know, Dad, there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. Lots of big cities have garbage problems and...

Homer: Woo hoo! That is it!

Without warning, Homer runs out of Simpson residence.

Marge: I hate it when he does that.

Sanitation Commissioner's office. Homer is carrying a briefcase and is greeted by several angry garbagemen.

Garbageman #1: Where are our paychecks, you bum?

Head Garbageman: My men ain't working one more minute until we get paid!

Homer unhinges briefcase to show it is full of money.

Homer: Would cash do?

Head Garbageman: Would it ever!

Mayor Qumiby bursts into Homer's office.

Mayor Quimby: Did, uh, I just hear a briefcase opening?

Homer: I bet you are all wondering where I got the money?

Bart: Selling drugs?

Lisa: Drugs?

Marge: I am going to have to go with drugs, too.

Homer: Close, but you are way off.

Template:Season 9 Q