Battle of the 'Plexes!/Quotes
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- Marge: Kids! Stop!
- Lisa: I was!
- Bart: No, I was!
- Lisa: No, I Was!
- Bart: No, I Was!
- Marge: What are you fighting over?
- Lisa: Which one of us was adopted.
- Bart: I was!
- Marge: WNeither one of your we're adopted. But I couldn't love you more if you were!
- Lisa: Moooommm!
- Bart: Stop!
- Mr. Burns: Blated... rag! Tougher than... toot's shor's... flank steak!
- Waylon Smithers: Sir? I heard you'd be here, and well... I brought mother's pinking shears, just in case.
- Mr. Burns: Then cut the miserable thing from and begone from my sight forever, you impertinent magpie!
- Waylon Smithers: Yes, sir!
- Mr. Burns: Now all of you inside! His infernal ceremony is murdering my ticket sales!
- Ms. Hoover: Turn it off! Turn it off! Your invention will destroy us all!
- Jonathan Frink, Sr.: I don't understand! According to my figures, this, ah, shouldn't be happening [GLAVIN!]
- Homer: And surprise us they did! The end! Now go do your homework!
- Lisa: What? You've not going to tell us what happened?
- Homer: Oh, suddenly I'm a good storyteller?
- Lisa: Yes! Finish it!
- Bart: The supense is killing me! [GACK]
- Marge: Homer... tell it.
- Homer: Okay. When we boys showed up the next week, we beaved like perfect gentlemen.
- Marge: No, you didn't! You smuggled in spray cheese and ruined all our clothes!
- Homer: Marge, your mainstream spin only furthers the girl agenda! I'm switching from you to Fox News!
- Marge: And from then on, all the boys did behave like perfect gentlemen.
- Homer: Awww...
- Lisa: What are we supposed to learn from that?
- Marge: That you should get along!
- Lisa: It sounds like the message is, girls should ask older people to fight boys for them!
- Bart: No, I think it clearly means that girls will stop at nothing to be the boss of us.
- Lisa: Nice story, mom and dad! Another marful lesson for you impressionable son!
- Marge: [GROOANN] Why does every story have to tell you what to do? Can't you just enjoy the plot and dialogue?
- Homer: Just stop fighting, okay? It's tearing this family apart! [SOB!]