Template:Featured Article

Featured Article

The list below is almost complete.

Alfreds

• Alamance Alfred is the main character, a conservative who lives on welfare and drinks beer.
• Josie Alfred is Alfred's mother, who lives in Graham.
• Jackie Alfred is the dead father.
• Gary Alfred is the grandfather.
• Jane Alfred is the grandmother.
• Uncle Jason is the moonshine uncle.
• Lord Pee is Alfred's weird cousin.
• Al Fred Alfred is Alfred's upper-class cousin.
• Winkenstein Alfred is Uncle Jason's son.
• Moonshine brother of Gary

Bobbulas

• Randall Bobbula is Alfred's vandalizin' friend.
• Wendy Bobbula is Randall's wife.
• Danietta Bobbula is Randall's submissive daughter.
• Barnes the Croboy is Randall's annoying brother.

Matthews

• Jed Matthews is a moonshine redneck friend of Alfred
• Clara Matthews is Jed's sexy daughter, who is Alf's love interest.
• Gramma and Grampa Matthews are Clara's grandparents.
• Jake Matthews is Jed's annoying son.

McGrath

• Seamus "Master" McGrath is Alfred's friend, a substitute Gaelic teacher.
• Loony Larry McGrath is one of Crazy Jeff's customers. Seamus's brother.
• Harry McGrath is Seamus's other brother.

Cook

• Miranda "Randy" Cook, usually called "Mr. Cook", is a greedy politician. Likes drinking with Alfred.
• William Cook is the Geezer-Father of Mr. Cook.
• Jefferson Davis "Crazy Jeff" Cook is Mr. Cook's cousin, who claims he has a great esteat when he actually has a bad one.

Mill Workers

• Lars is a tall mill worker,
• Brad is a short one.
• Luke is the medium-sized one.
• Unnamed mill worker

Corbins

• Ben Corbin is Alf's housekeeper.
• Tliklins Corbinis Ben's sexist father.

Vordermeers

• Derfhiggen Vordermeer is Alfred's Armenian "friend".
• Driddheim is the bratty son.
• Entweiler is the wife who stayed in Armenia.
• Wirhes is Derf's sister.

Lodikrap

• Jake Lodikrap is an evil hippie.
• Bill Lodikrap is Jake's conservative brother.

Others

• H.E.L.L. Criminal who killed Alf's father.
• Erica Wimblinstein is a Goth girl.
• Me is a TBH.
• Admiral Wombat is a spoof of Captain Cangaroo. Stars of Admiral Wombat include:

Mr. Chicken is a chicken who is afraid of being Kentucky-fried.

The Colonel tries to destroy Mr. Chicken.

Mark Moron is the name of a kid who becomes a supehero called Carlow Crab. Inspiration for the show "The Carlow Crab".

Wicklow Wasp is the Crab's main enemy.

Lord Steiner is a German Guy.

• Mr. Robinson is the obese boss at the mill.
• Danny Faintomb A biker who knew Corbin.
• Scarab Guy in a Scarab Suit who mutilates Clara.
• Mr. MacEnis is a giant penis.
• Merfhiggen Morderveer is an anti-Armenia idiot. For more information see this.
• Dumb Dawg is a dumb dawg.
• Sith Johnson is a mill owner.
• Camden Countysman is an annoying guy from the NC coast.
• Lyndon Johnson is Sith's brother.
• Nelson Arlenass is an astronaut from Burlington.
• Wallace Ihitballs is a thug and friend of H.E.L.L.
• Laughnaugh McShaugnhaugn is the normal Gaelic teacher.
• Taughnaugh McShaugnaughn is Laughnaugh's Cona Hahahahahahhahahahhahhaahat hottie wife.
• Wachaun is a good Gaelic speaker and friend of Laughnaugh.
• Wikipedia Morderveer is Merfhiggen's father who hates Derfhiggen.
• Mailman is a buffoonish mailman.
• Trent Burns is a bad student at the Gaelic class.
• Tara is a cheerleader.
• Tilikia Wallburg is a popular jerk at the Gaelic class.
• Samantha is Erica's friend.
• Luben Becker is another German guy. He owns a store often visited by Alf.
• Stuben Becker is Luben's snobby brother.
• Unnamed hottie who appears in Luben's store.
• Joe Stenbert is the head of the Stenbert family of West Burlington.
• Mr. Potts is a grumpy old man who killed a Chapel Hill dweller.
• Bartholomew Breastenheimer is a yuppie from Chapel Hill.
• Farley Canns is the owner of a junkyard.
• Cory Nathan is a receptionist at Jake's Healing Center.
• Ronny Wing owns a gun store!
• Fred Lipschitz works at the gun store. He is married to Gerald.
• Gerald McGraham is Fred's gay lover. He works at Sith's mill.
• Unnamed friends of Tilikia
• Mary Stenbert is Joe's wife.
• Talking Towers are some talking towers that were born in Greensboro, but go to Burlington to torment Jake Lodikrap.
• Arthur is a guy who helps the poor. He replaced Alfred in "Zorgin Hmorgin's Alamance Arthur".
• Zorgin Hmorgin sometimes appears.
• The Gay Club is a club in Chapel Hill that Jake belongs to. Consists of 12 people.