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Krusty the Klown

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Revision as of 20:25, August 2, 2006 by Thai420 (talk)
Mergefrom.gif It has been suggested that Krusty the Clown be merged into this article. (Discuss)

Herschel Pinkus Yerucham Krustofsky (1930s – ), more commonly known as Krusty the Klown, is a fictional character in the cartoon The Simpsons. (His name was originally Herschel Schmoeckel Krustofsky, but it has changed since the episode "Today I am A Clown". The spelling of the first and last name has been confirmed in "Bart the Fink".) He is voiced by Dan Castellaneta. Krusty is the long-time clown host of Bart and Lisa's favorite TV show. The TV show is a combination of kiddie variety-television hijinks with a sidekick, and cartoons (including the Tom and Jerry parody Itchy and Scratchy). His sidekick, Sideshow Bob, has been replaced by Sideshow Mel. Another sidekick was Sideshow Raheem, an angry black young man in sunglasses who wears a multi-colored dashiki, but no evidence exists to show whether Sideshow Bob was a replacement for Sideshow Raheem. As well as these, he was also aided briefly by Sideshow Luke Perry (his 'worthless' half-brother on his mother's side) while preparing for his comeback special. In one episode, Marge Simpson said she had worked briefly as Sideshow Marge. One Krusty trademark is changing the spelling of many words that begin with C to instead begin with K, as evidenced by the original spelling of his name, Krusty the Klown, and with such events as the unfortunately-named Krusty's Komedy Klassics (KKK).

The character was partially inspired by real-life clown "Rusty Nails" who Simpsons creator Matt Groening watched as a child while growing up in Portland, Oregon. In one episode, Bart references this inspiration ("Rusty the Clown? Springfield gets the lamest balloons.") – Castellaneta based his voice characterization on Chicago television legend Bob Bell who portrayed WGN-TV's Bozo the Clown from 1960-1984. It is also believed that the inspiration of Krusty came from another TV Clown J.P. Patches of KIRO-TV in Seattle whom Groening was a fan of. Some of Krusty's biographical details echo those of comedian Jackie Mason, who voices Krusty's father, including being the son of an orthodox rabbi, and being temporarily banned from television due to a controversial performance. Other biographical details parallel Johnny Carson and Dean Martin. Krusty, with his 'Krusty Burger' chain, is also a parody of Ronald McDonald, the famous fast-food clown of the McDonald's burger chain. Krusty's off-camera personality, particularly his treatment of his show staff was reportedly modelled after David Letterman by ex-Late Night writers who went on to write for the Simpsons.

Contents [hide] 1 Biography 2 Recent history 3 Episodes Starring Krusty 4 In the comic books 5 Quotes 6 Krusty products 7 Popular Culture References 8 Video game appearances 9 Notes and references

Biography

The episode "Like Father, Like Clown" (based on the film The Jazz Singer), first released on October 24, 1991, expanded on his origin. According to it, he was born Herschel Schmoeckel Krustofsky and is of Jewish heritage. Krusty is a third generation American. In 1902, Krusty's grandfather Zeev Krustofsky left Imperial Russia for the United States and gained entry through Ellis Island[1]. His son Hyman Krustofsky became an Orthodox rabbi and a leader of his community, whose wise counsel (such as if it is right to buy a Chrysler) is continually sought. Rabbi Krustofsky, voiced by Jackie Mason, hoped that his son would follow in his footsteps (he brags that Herschel is at top of his Yeshiva class). However, Herschel wanted to become a clown because he wanted to make people laugh. Consequently, the Rabbi disowned him. Decades later, Krusty memorably reconciled with his father with the assistance of Bart and Lisa.

It was later revealed Krusty did not have a Bar Mitzvah ceremony, because Hyman feared he would violate the sanctity of the rites by "acting up." Krusty had two adult Bar Mitzvah ceremonies: a Hollywood gala, then a simple ceremony intended to reconnect with his father.

After leaving The Lower East Side of Springfield, Krusty started his 50-year show biz career as a street mime in Tupelo, Mississippi. He then appeared on a variety of Laugh-In style variety shows, but in the 1950s was banned from television for 10 years after saying "pants" on the air, which was not allowed at the time. In the 1960s he finally got his own television show, The Krusty the Klown Show, which featured Krusty discussing current events with serious guests (an episode of the show dated February 6, 1961 featured AFL-CIO president George Meany and a discussion of the "labor crisis in America"). The interview format began to increase in wackiness from that point on -- while interviewing Robert Frost, he dumped a load of snow on the poet. Much of this loss of prestige may have been due to Krusty's substance abuse problems: he was clearly stoned when Ravi Shankar played on the show less than a decade after Meany's appearance, and he once exclaimed "what was I on?" while watching a clip of himself howling a drugged-out version of The Doors' Break on Through (to the Other Side). By the 1980s the show had devolved into a children's entertainment show.

Krusty quickly became a multi-millionaire – mostly by licensing his name and image to a variety of suspect products and services. In the Simpsons' world, there are everything from Krusty alarm clocks, to Krusty dolls, to Krusty eye wash (many of which are owned by Bart) and Krusty's Clown College, which Homer attended. The more dangerous ones include: the Krusty home pregnancy test, which "may cause birth defects"; Krusty's brand of bubble gum, which contains spider eggs (which they knew about) and hantavirus (which they didn't know about); Krusty Kologne, which may cause "severe chemical burns"; and Krusty's brand of cereal, which in one episode boasted a jagged metal Krusty-O in each box, at first, and then flesh-eating bacteria in each box. One of many lawsuits regarding these products was launched by Bart, who ate a jagged metal Krusty-O and had to have his appendix removed. However, it was suggested at the end of the episode that he would sue Krusty again after he ingested the flesh-eating bacteria that was put into the cereal. Other lawsuits have resulted from defective products, such as a number of parents suing Krusty for one of his defective balloons exploding and taking out the eyes of "every kid in the room", Krusty's sexual harassment of any number of women, accusations that his theme park is a "death trap", and for illegally selling Tonya Harding's honeymoon video. Krusty likely avoided further trouble over Kamp Krusty by personally taking the campers to the "happiest place on earth" - Tijuana.

The "Krusty Korporation", the company responsible for Krusty's licensing, has also launched a series of disastrous promotions and business ventures: Sponsoring the 1984 Summer Olympics with a rigged promotion that backfired when the Soviet Union boycotted the games, causing Krusty to personally lose $44 million; building a series of Krusty Burger outlets on unmanned oil rigs, leading Krusty himself to observe "I'm taking a bath on this"; and recording "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well", a We Are The World-type charity song meant to raise funds for a little boy that was supposedly trapped down a well. When the boy being trapped down a well was exposed as one of Bart Simpson's pranks, the song instantly plunged from #1 down to #97 on the music charts. Given that Krusty mentioned that they would need to pay for "promotion, shipping and distribution", and the limos used to transport the celebrities that contributed to the recording, it stands to reason that Krusty lost a fortune in producing an album that suffered from miserably low sales.

At one time, he had his own brand of Pork Products; this might have led to his almost-fatal on-the-air heart attack and subsequent pacemaker. There is a list of all Krusty related products at the end of this page. Krusty also operates his own television production company, Krustylu Productions (a pun on Lucille Ball and her husband Desi Arnaz's Desilu Productions).

His much-abused sidekick, Sideshow Bob, framed him for armed robbery – which resulted in Krusty's brief incarceration. In the interim, Bob ran the show, but was fired when he was identified as the real culprit.

Krusty is a hard-living entertainment veteran who has been down and out several times (always being rescued by the Simpson children) and remains addicted to gambling, cigarettes, alcohol, Pepto, and Xanax (and, in one episode, Percodan). He instantly becomes depressed as soon as the cameras stop rolling. He seems to suffer from bipolar disorder, and, in a Soupy Sales parody, asked children to send him spare lithium from their parent's medicine cabinets after every employer in town cut off their prescription drug plans. In "The Heartbroke Kid" he says that his tolerance levels are so high from years of excess he has to smoke ground-up moon rocks just to feel normal.

Krusty's vices have affected American foreign policy. On an episode guest starring Drew Barrymore as his illegitimate daughter, it was revealed that he prevented Saddam Hussien's assassination by US forces during the Gulf War. After meeting a beautiful soldier during his USO tour, he sleeps with her ("Maybe it was the anthrax in the air," he said). They awake the next morning, she panics because she is late for her mission and pushes off Krusty who wants her to stay and "get down with the clown". When he finds out she is planning on killing Saddam with a missile launcher, he tackles her and knocks the explosives off course. Saddam was a great source of his comedic material, he claims. Since then she's hated him despite them having a daughter. Her home is filled with a variety of artwork depicting clowns being killed.

His show was canceled once after the debut of Gabbo the ventriloquist dummy, who was so popular that Krusty was subsequently driven out of business. Bart tried to get the Gabbo show canceled when he snuck into the studio and switched on the camera during what was supposed to be a commercial break, revealing the ventriloquist Arthur Crandall saying "That oughtta hold the little S.O.B.s," referring to his audience, through Gabbo, a reference to a famous radio urban legend about Uncle Don. Krusty then returns to the air with an Elvis-style comeback special in which his many celebrity friends appear and reignite his career.

In 1996, after an IRS bust for tax "avoision", (sic), according to Kent Brockman, which resulted in his bankruptcy, Krusty faked his death and lived briefly as sailor Rory B. Bellows. Krusty insured Bellows's life in his own name and then staged an accident to "kill" Bellows, collecting the money to rebuild his life. Krusty otherwises wastes money almost as fast as he earns it: lighting his cigarettes with hundred-dollar bills, pearl necklaces and priceless copies of Action Comics; eating condor-egg omelets; hiring Kenny G to play for him in his elevator; sending a thousand roses to Bea Arthur's grave, even though she is still alive; settling plagiarism lawsuits with other comedians (see below); spending huge sums on pornographic magazines (which Apu says kept him in business his first year); losing a fortune gambling on everything from horse races to operas to the Washington Generals; and buying a ruby-studded clown nose. (He has also been seen lighting Cuban cigars with pearl necklaces and the ridiculously valuable Action Comics #1).

He seems to retire from and then get back into showbiz repeatedly throughout his career. His last retirement (a parody of Carson's retirement) was almost permanent because of recently-paroled Sideshow Bob's latest scheme – wiring plastique explosives to a hypnotized Bart and sending him up on stage (a parody of "The Manchurian Candidate"). However, a last minute change of heart at Krusty's touching mention of him in a speech (as well as a last-minute rescue by Krusty's chain smoking chimp, Mr. Teeny) stopped Bob's plan. Bob and Krusty later reconciled, with Krusty exclaiming that Bob's attempts at Krusty's life make his ratings shoot through the roof.

Krusty – minus his trademark clown-hair, pale "facepaint" and red nose – bears an uncanny physical resemblance to Homer Simpson. However, there also differences such as his cow-skull birthmark, his superfluous third nipple, and his small feet. In addition, in the episode "Bart the Fink", he was seen sans clown makeup, but in a bizarre twist, while swimming, yellow face paint washed off, revealing his trademark clown features, indicating that the look is indeed permanent. This would seem to confirm a remark he once made to Homer Simpson, in which he noted the after effects of his heart attack and pacemaker implant by pointing to his face and saying, "This ain't make-up!"

Krusty shares a number of parallels with certain real-life celebrities. His addiction to Percodan mirrors that of Jerry Lewis. Like Lewis, he also holds children's telethons (raising funds for motion sickness), and easily believed that the French government would award him the Legion of Honor (actually a trick invented by Bart and Lisa in an attempt to reconcile him with his estranged father).

Krusty's show is also patterned after the Tonight Shows of Johnny Carson and Steve Allen; it has both the opening monologue and conversations with guests made famous by Carson and the madcap stunts popularized by Allen, even going so far as to directly plagiarize some of Allen's jokes. Krusty has even mentioned how, like Carson, many other people have come after him in an attempt to become the number-one children's show in America, but that he buried them all, including "hobos, sea captains, Joey Bishop" (Bishop was one of many would-be usurpers to Carson's throne, all of whom Carson thwarted without difficulty) and "slaughtered" the Special Olympics. Krusty has been sued by other entertainers, such as George Carlin and Steve Martin, for stealing their material.

Recent history

It has been noted that Krusty was supposedly illiterate in "Krusty Gets Busted" (first released on April 29, 1990), where Sideshow Bob framed him for armed robbery. He has since been seen reading with varying ability (many fans have noted that in the episode "Lisa's First Word", he is shown reading a wire service article in 1983). Since, many years before, Krusty's rabbi father praised his apparently genuinely good performance in Yeshiva school, it seems highly unlikely that Krusty in fact never learned to read in his youth. Possibly his modern "illiteracy" actually stemmed from temporary brain damage from his long years of overindulgence after achieving show business success.

Through his unnamed mother, Krusty is supposedly an older half-brother to actor Luke Perry. His only other known relatives are his father, his grandfather, and his illegitimate daughter Sophie, (voiced by actress Drew Barrymore), the result of an affair between Krusty and a U.S soldier during the Gulf War. Krusty may well have other illegitimate children from his various sexual escapades, as at least one woman has been trying to show him their son.

Krusty's profligate spending has resulted in encounters with the local Mafia, not to mention schemes such as running a clown college to turn out proxy Krustys to appear at birthday parties, and running a concentration camp-like summer camp called "Kamp Krusty". He willingly sells out to commercial interests to sell all manner of second-rate goods – he even has a generic spoken endorsement: "I heartily endorse this event or product!". His lack of care towards the quality of his merchandising is evidenced by the little attention he pays to the names of events he stars in: his Christmas show, "Krusty Kinda Khristmas"; his TV special, "Krusty Komedy Klassics"; and a tennis tournament he sponsored, the "Krusty Kharity Klassic" all use the unfortunate acronym "KKK" (as in Ku Klux Klan). Unfortunately, the only instance of this he notices is the TV special, and that was only because the initials are shown behind him. In a hindsighted booking decision, Krusty was live at the Apollo Theater at the time. He also owns a toy factory in China that manufactures Krusty-brand toys, where a huge painting of him stares down at the workers, and a recorded message from him -- "Laziness is counter-revolutionary!" and "Questions are decadent!" -- is played repeatedly to encourage the employees to work harder.

In 2003, Krusty was elected to the United States House of Representatives as a Republican (though he once joked of voting for Bill Clinton in 1992 whilst campaigning for the GOP). A year later, he served on a House committee to investigate Ziffcorp – run by one Artie Ziff until he lost 98% of the company to Homer for corporate malfeasance. Apparently back in showbiz (despite having retired several times), he balances a political career with his local cable shenanigans.

Krusty's humor is primarily aimed at children, and thus involves a great deal of slapstick and physical abuse of Sideshow Mel. That said, he also briefly enjoyed some success as an alternative stand up comic, after Bart persuaded Jay Leno to put him on the bill for a charity comedy night, which also featured Bobcat Goldthwait, Steven Wright and Janeane Garofalo. Krusty's routine (involving a revolving bow tie and an outdated racist impersonation of a Chinese person) bombed badly, sparking his decision to retire from showbusiness. Unexpectedly however, his angry condemnation of modern trends at his retirement press conference caused great mirth from the gatherered journalists. Seizing the opportunity to reinvent his career, Krusty tied his hair back in a ponytail and appeared at Moe's Tavern, quickly becoming an anti establishment, furious stand up comic, along the lines of George Carlin. Unfortunately, the lure of free merchandise in exchange for blatant promotion of a product proved too much for Krusty to resist. Offered a "Canyonero" SUV in return for promoting it in his act, Krusty was soon bottled off the stage and returned to his avaricious, cynical old self.

Episodes Starring Krusty

This is a list of Simpsons episodes in which Krusty plays a substantial role in driving the plot, not simply a supporting role.

  • Krusty Gets Busted (Season 1, Episode 12) Sideshow Bob frames Krusty for armed robbery.
  • Like Father, Like Clown (Season 3, Episode 6) Bart and Lisa reunite Krusty with his estranged father.
  • Krusty Gets Kancelled (Season 4, Episode 22) A new, flashier children's show drives Krusty off the air.
  • Bart the Fink (Season 7, Episode 15) Krusty fakes his death to escape the IRS.
  • The Last Temptation of Krust (Season 9, Episode 15) Krusty's newfound integrity makes his standup routine a hit.
  • Insane Clown Poppy (Season 12, Episode 3) The daughter he never knew finds Krusty a disappointment.
  • Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington (Season 14, Episode 14) Krusty runs for Congress.
  • Today I am A Klown (Season 15, Episode 6) Krusty undergoes a long-delayed Bar Mitzvah ceremony.

In the comic books

In Simpsons Comics #113, Krusty is revealed to have 4 illegitimate sons who are all at the orphanage. These kids have yet to appear in an animated episode.

Quotes

Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to:

  • The Simpsons[During a marathon TV performance] "Now kids, let's go and see Sideshow Mel for some more of his legal, over the counter wake-up drugs!"
  • Bart: "The Krusty I know didn't get where he is today by giving up!"
  • Krusty: "No, I got where I am today by naming names in the '50s."

[During an 'adult' stand-up performance] "Let's talk about herpes! Herpes, boberpies, banana-fanna-fo-ferbes, herpes! Ow! Hey: that spot on Gorbachev's head -- herpes, trust me! Anybody here have herpes? Huh? Huh? [No one answers] You people are the worst audience I've ever seen."

  • "If this is anyone but Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!" [After Krusty realizes that he's been a victim of Gabbo's "prank calls", a gag Krusty himself stole from Steve Allen]
  • "Uh...I could pull a better cartoon out of my a-- ah he he he he. Hey! Wow! Wasn't that great kids!"
  • "The farcockteh doors are stuck! Don't just stare, Artie, help me!" (Krusty's ill-fated appearance on "Laugh-In" forty years ago)
  • "The Academy hates me. Don't know why. Bunch of old know-nothing dinosaurs wouldn't know talent if it bit them in the..." [does his trademark laugh]
  • Krusty: "Ohh, sex chat!" [dials the number, and is connected with four other men who dialed the number at about the same time.]
    • Apu: "Hello?"
    • Krusty: "Hello?"
    • Apu: "Are you a beautiful woman?"
    • Krusty: "Do I sound like a beautiful woman?"
    • Apu: "This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated."
  • [Being talked into appearing at a charity event] "Community service? Uhg. All right, I'll do it. Man, swipe one pair of Haggar slacks and you're paying for it the rest of your life!"
  • [At an awards show]
    • Krusty:[reading from cue cards] "Well here we are the star of the Blue Lagoon and me, the blue haired goon! I...ah...wait thats terrible!"
    • Brooke Shields: "Cartoons have the power to make us laugh and to make us cry. Wouldn't you agree, Krusty?"
    • Krusty: "First of all my hair is green not blue. I got nothing to work with here. Nothing." [walks off stage] "Well, at least I can take off this girdle." [long elastic snapping noise] "Ahhhh...oh yeah."
  • [At the Krusty Kharity Klassic tennis tournament] "I hope I don't get arrested for racket-earrings!" [silence] "Well, what do you expect? I'm not doing 'A' material for charity!"
  • [Three big K's are used as a background for the Krusty Komedy Klassic]] "KKK? Oh, that's not good..."
  • [At a secret meeting between Springfield's most influential inhabitants, seeing a pornographic magazine called "American Breast Enthusiast" on the table] "Hey hey hey! This is my kind of meeting!"
  • [As Montgomery Burns is being publicly accused for destroying most of Springfield with his oil digging] "Hey hey! I've been in Reno for six weeks! Did I miss anything?" [sees everyone sullen and angry at Burns, who has not the least remorse] "Oh."
  • [At an emergency broadcasting studio, after Sideshow Bob has threatened to destroy all television] "Itchy and Scratchy couldn't be here today, so we have, erm... the Stingy and Battery show! With... former President Ike Eisenhower!" [as Eisenhower:] "Let's-get-biz-zay!"

Krusty products

Krusty has endorsed many products and places that are named after him. Here is a partial list:

  • Krusty Brand Seal of Approval (on everything that meets the "high standards" of Krusty the Clown); "It's not just good, it's good enough!"
  • Krusty the Clown Show
  • Krusty Handguns
  • Krusty-Brand Home Pregnancy test ("May cause birth defects")
  • Krusty-Brand Cereal (aka "Krusty-O's") (Notably, Krusty is seen buying his own cereal in the supermarket, upon which Mr Burns inquires as to the location of the "Burns-O's")
  • Krusty-Brand Imitation Gruel (9 out of 10 orphans can't tell the difference)
  • Chocolate Frosted Frosty Flakes ("Only sugar has more sugar!")
  • Krusty-Brand Lo-Cal TV Dinner
  • Krusty greeting cards
  • Krusty's Famous Sauce
  • Krusty-Brand Low Income Housing
  • Kamp Krusty ("The Krustyest place on earth!")
  • Krusty's Clown College
  • Krusty Lands
    • Krusty Land
    • Euro Krusty Land (Later blew up)
  • Mount Splashmore (Krusty filmed his show there in one episode)
  • Krusty's Non-Narkotik Kough Syrup (secret ingredient of "Flaming Homer/Flaming Moe")
  • Krusty Brain & Health Tonic
  • Krusty-Brand Vitamins (caused an irregular heartbeat in Bart)
  • Krusty Doll
  • Krusty the Klown Alarm Clock (Gets extremely hot when plugged in)
  • Krusty Calculator (Bart's lacked a 7 or an 8 button)
  • Krusty Phone
  • Krusty Wallclock
  • Krusty Lamp
  • Krusty Pencil Tops
  • Krusty Lunchboxes
  • Krusty Giant Toy Drum
  • Krusty's Sulfuric Acid
  • Krusty Trash Basket
  • Krusty T-Shirts
  • Krusty Monopoly
  • Krusty Posters
  • Krusty Non-Toxic Kologne
  • Krusty's Autobiography (Ghostwritten by John Updike)
  • Krusty's Crowd Control Barrier "Krusty Sez 'Get Back'"
  • Krusty Slippers
  • Lady Krusty Mustache Removal
  • Krusty Electric Toothbrush
  • Krusty Mini-Basketball Hoops
  • Krusty Knife Doll
  • Krusty Eye wash
  • Krusty Geiger Counter (Shown in the episode where Homer builds a small nuclear reactor. Lisa holds the Krusty Geiger Counter up to it, and the counter promptly says something along the lines of "Whoah! That things gonna blow! Drop this toy and run!")
  • Krusty Home Depot (hardware store)
  • Krusty Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverages (milkshakes)
  • Krusty Personal Swabs
  • Krusty Kosher Ham (paradox)
  • (Krusty Burger (a McDonald's-like place that has once sold the "Ribwich," which is made not from pig or cattle, but from something far smaller with way more legs, and the "Whachamacarcass sandwich". Also known for making Krusty Burgers out of roadkill)
  • Krusty also endorses endorsement contracts. (Hey, hey! They're binding!)

Popular Culture References

Daniel Alfredsson, Captain of the Ottawa Senators was referred to as Krusty the Clown when he had a haircut that resembled Krusty's hair [edit] Video game appearances Krusty's likeness first appeared in The Simpsons: The Arcade Game in the carnival stage. Enemies wearing Krusty the Clown costumes bounced on balls and attacked the player. Smithers, the main antagonist until the end of the game, also rode through the stages in a giant balloon shaped liked Krusty's head. The relatively unknown game Bart's House of Weirdness involved a battle with Sideshow Bob in order to rescue Krusty from a jungle cage. Krusty then played a major role in Bart vs. the World, a game in which Krusty co-sponsors an around-the-world treasure hunt starring Bart Simpson. In the game the player much collect unique Krusty collectibles in order to gain points and ultimately win a prize on Krusty's show. Krusty images are seen many times in the game Bart vs. the Space Mutants, Krusty faces give extra lives as well as having a level in Krustyland (Level 3). Krusty eventually starred in Krusty's Fun House. Though the games were released on a variety of platforms the gameplay and story remained the same: Krusty's fun house has become infested with purple rats and the player must solve elaborate puzzles to herd the rats into wacky rat-killing machines. When games moved into the 16-bit era Krusty made a few smaller appearances in addition to his starring titles. He was a caveman and a waterslide attendee in Virtual Bart, and the Pig Bart stage took place in a pork factory owned by Krusty's corporation. Krusty and his Krustylu Studios were part of the large map in Virtual Springfield. The player could enter the studio and watch a taping of his show and others, as well as sit in on Krusty's telephone calls. As games went 3D, so did Krusty. He starred as one of the combatants in The Simpsons Wrestling, as one of the racers in Simpsons Road Rage, and as a skater in Simpsons Skateboarding. Krusty also appeared in The Simpsons: Hit and Run video game advertising a new cola called Buzz Cola (Made from the finest sugars and waters, plus a secret ingredient too hot for the FDA!). The cola was actually an activant for the many robotic wasps invading Springfield.