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Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki


Homer: Family, I have an important announcement. The Simpsons have cable!
Bart & Lisa{in unison}: Cable!
Bart and Lisa rush over to TV.
Homer: MTV for the kids, VH1 for us, it has everything Marge.
Marge: But Homer, are you sure we can afford this?
Homer: Nothing a month? I think we can swing that!

Bart: (about Hell) Wouldn't you eventually get used to it, like in a hot tub?

Mrs. Albright: Yes, Bart?
Bart: Are there pirates in Hell?
Mrs. Albright: Yes, thousands of them.
Bart: (rubs hands) Hoo hoo, baby!

Master bedroom. Homer and Marge argue about the illegal cable.
Marge: Homer, this illegal cable hookup is wrong. If you really want cable in this house we ought to subscribe to it.
Homer: I cannot afford it!
Marge: But Homer, I’m afraid that cable has become an evil presence in our home.
Homer{sternly}: Marge, I never put my foot down about anything.
Marge: No--
Homer: But I am severely tempted to do it over this. (Raises foot)
Marge: Oh, Homer.
Homer: Marge, I’m sorry. I think it’s coming down.
Marge: No, Homer! Not--
Homer: (Sticks foot over floor) It’s coming down. My foot, it’s--
Marge: No!
Homer: That’s it, Marge. The cable stays. The foot has spoken. (Slams foot down)

(Bart and the family watch TV.)

Bart: Oh, cool! This is where “Jaws” eats the boat! … Man, this is where “Die Hard” jumps through the window. … (Laughs) Whoa! This is where “Wall Street” gets arrested! (Chuckles)

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