Pygmoelian/Quotes

Quotes

Homer: Moe! The new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture.

Moe: Oh, boy! Move over, liquor license. (takes a framed license down from the wall)

Lenny: (reading license) Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and it's only good in Rhode Island … and it's signed by you.

Moe: Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to get that updated, uh, for this state and, real.

Duff Man: And the winner… Moe Szyslak!

Moe: Aw, that's great; thank you, thanks a lot. Uh, I just want to say that it was an honor for me to compete against the Mick and the, uh, the chick with the rack there.

Duff Man: Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley, and sparkling clear mountain … what?

Titania: (rings bell) Goat.

Duff Man: Are you ready for some Duff love?!

Homer: Good work, everyone. We're sure to be first in line for "Duff Days."

Marge: You set off the smoke alarm to rush us to a beer festival?

Homer: (chuckles I know. I'm a character. Now a little beer music to get in the mood.

Moe: Homer, did you hear that? She called me handsome! Me! It's like I've gone to heaven. Wait a minute…I died on the operating table didn't I?

Homer: He he, yeah but just for a minute. It's a funny story, I'll tell you some time.

Nurse: Oh boy, what a mug!

Surgeon: Yea, you should see his genitals, would you like to see his genitals?

Moe: I'm awake here.

Surgeon: Hey this isn't anesthetic it's new car smell.

Moe: It's hopeless, ain't it?

Surgeon: No, no, no, I love a challenge. First, we must install buttocks.

Moe: Nah, nah, nah - no luxury items. Just the face.

Surgeon: (drawing on Moe's face with a marker) Okay, I'm going to move this up, this wider. Gonna lose that. I've never even seen one of these!

Marge: Kids, would you like a balloon?

Bart: (sarcastic) Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwypop. Actually, I would like a wowwypop.

Lisa: Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwypop, I want a wowwypop.

Gay man: Alright then, we need a symbol for our campaign. Something that says we're gay and republican.

(A pink balloon in the shape of an elephant flies through the window.)

Gay man: A little bit on the nose, don't you think?

Homer: (to Lenny & Carl) OK, ready, guys? One...two...three...

(All three lift up their shirts; Homer has "M" on his chest, Carl has "O" on his and Lenny has "O" too)

Homer: "MOO"!? Lenny, you were suppose to be "E"!

Carl: See what happens when you skip rehearsal?

Moe: Am I really that ugly?

Carl: Well, it's all relative, Moe. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney really that drunk? Is Homer really that fat, bald and stupid?

(Everyone but Carl begins to cry)

Carl (to the camera): See, this is why I don't talk much.

(At The end of the episode)

Moe:But what I don't get is why after the wall fell on me, why did it go back to my old face and not turn into a new, third face? Dosen't make any-

(end credits begin to roll.)

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