Marge vs. the Monorail/Quotes
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- Yet another one of Homer's lifelong dreams
- Homer: But Marge! My lifelong dream is to be a monorail conductor!
- Marge: Your lifelong dream was to run out onto the field during a Springfield Isotopes game. And you did it last year, remember?"
- Baseball music is heard as Marge points out framed newspaper clipping on the bedroom wall showing Homer running on a baseball diamond.
- Newspaper headline: IDIOT RUINS GAME; SPRINGFIELD FORFEITS PENNANT
- Marge, fatally concerned about the welfare of the citizens of Springfield, decides to take a night drive. Visions of various people go through her mind
- Lyle Lanley{imagined}: "I have sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and as you can see, I put their names on the map!"
- Apu{imagined}: Is there a chance the track could bend?
- Homer{imagined}: I call the big one Bitey.
- Lyle Lanley{imagined}: "I have sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and as you can see, I put their names on the map!"
- Apu{imagined}: Is there a chance the track could bend?
- Homer{imagined}: I call the big one Bitey.
- Marge arrives in North Haverbrook
- Sign: WELCOME TO NORTH HAVERBROOK; WHERE THE MONORAIL IS KING!
- Marge parks her car and inspects the community of North Haverbrook. She is appalled to find tumbleweeds, rusted out cars, and dilapitated, abandoned houses. No one is in any of the houses except for an elderly lady in a rocking chair on a veranda
- Old lady{cackling}: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- Marge continues on in her tour of North Haverbrook. She sees a destroyed monorail track with one of the cars dangling off the track, confirming her horror. She then meets a disshevled, traumatized woman
- Woman: Go away, lady! There ain't no monorail and there never was!
- Woman slams window shut
- Window: MONORAIL CAFE
- A creepy looking man approaches Marge, who screams in horror
- Man: So sorry, I should not have snuck up on you like that. My name is Sebastian Cobb. I am a civil engineer who was commissioned by Lyle Lanley to build the monorail for North Haverbrook. That was the biggest mistake of my life.
- Sebastian Cobb shows Marge the wrecked monorail
- Sebastian Cobb: This is the monorail; one of the crappiest trains ever built! Lanley is a fraud; the man cuts corners like nobody's business! There were no emergency brakes, the shocks were made of matress coils, and the celebrity for their maiden voyage was Gallagher!
- Mayor Quimby: And now, please allow me to introduce celebrity Leonard Nimoy!
- Audience applauds
- Leonard Nimoy: I would say this vessel could do Warp Factor 5!
- Audience chuckles
- Quimby: And in the spirit of this, Mr. Nimoy, may the Force be with you!
- Leonard Nimoy: You do not even know who I am!
- Quimby: Sure I do. Were you not one of the Little Rascals?
- The monorail is out of control. Marge communicates to Homer
- Marge: Homer! I found someone who can help you!
- Homer: Batman?!
- Marge: No, a scientist.
- Homer: Batman is a scientist!
- Marge: Homer! It is not Batman!
