Radioactive Man/Quotes

Quotes

Investor: "I cannot see why we cannot cast Dirk Richter. Kids are going to want to see the original Radioactive Man."

Executive producer: "I keep telling you, he is 73 years old and he's DEAD!"

Director: "We need a new cutting edge Radioactive Man for this day and age. Besides we want to get away as far as possible from the campy TV series of the 1970s."

Director imagines TV show

Fallout Boy: "Jiminy jilickers Radioactive Man, it is the worst villian of them all, the Scoutmaster!"

Scoutmaster: "Do not be afraid to use your nails, scouts!"

Fight sequence begins where Radioactive Man and Fallout Boy attack the Scoutmaster's underlings to still-shot fighting, where expressions such as POO! ZUFF!, SNUH!, BORT! flash on screen. Suddenly several pretty girls in hotpants appear in middle of fight and start dancing to pop music. Defeated hoods get back up and start dancing with Radioactive Man, Fallout Boy, and the girls. Scene then returns to present

Director: (Shrudder)

Acting coach: {impersonating Radioactive Man} Up and atom!

Rainer Wolfcastle: {wooden} Up and at them.

Acting coach: {trying to get Wolfcastle to show more spirit} Up and atom!

Rainer Wolfcastle: Up and at them!

Acting coach: {sighing} Better.

Director: Congratulations Bart Simpson, you are our new Fallout Boy! That is what I would be saying if you were not one inch too short. Next!

Milhouse is on the run from screaming girls, where he runs into Lionel Hutz

Lionel Hutz: "Milhouse, baby, Lionel Hutz. Your new agent, manager, attorney, publicist and drug dealer, erp, keeper-awayer."

Milhouse runs to the Van Houten residence and deadbolts the door to get away from the mob

Milhouse: "Mom, Dad, it is a madhouse outside! Hey, where did all these expensive items come from?"

Kirk van Houten is unpacking a large flat screen TV

Kirk: "We heard you got the part. Now that you are a big star, we had better start living large!"

Milhouse: "What if I am not successful in movies? How will we pay for all this?"

Luanne is wearing a bikini and in a device that looks like a gigantic, transparent snowsuit

Luanne: "I cannot hear you, I am in my new jacuzzi suit."

Director: "We have got to do the "jiminy jilickers" scene again, Milhouse."

Milhouse: "But we did it. It took us seven hours, but we finished it. It is done."

Director: "But we have got to shoot it from different angles. Again and again and again and again and again."

Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Rainier Wolfcastle as Radioactive Man is tied up. Director is readying the scene

Director: OK, listen up. This is the climax. Radioactive Man has been captured and it is up to Fallout Boy to save him before a gigantic wall of sulfuric acid comes crashing in, destroying everything in its path. We have only one chance to do this, so we have to do it right. Now that is real acid, so I want to see goggles, people.

Director and crew don goggles

Rainier Wolfcastle: {nervously} R-Real acid?

Director: "Lights, camera, action!"

Radioactive Man: Oh no. Only Fallout Boy can save me now.

Director: "Cue the acid!"

Wave of acid pours in

Director: "Fallout Boy, you are on!"

Acid continues to deluge, Milhouse is absent

Director: "Where is Fallout Boy?!"

Rainier Wolfcastle dons goggles, then immediately afterward gets swept up in wave of acid

Rainier Wolfcastle: "AUGH! My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

Rainier Wolfcastle is swept out of SNPP and the acid breaks through a wall in a trailer as well as melting the Radioactive Man costume. Rainier Wolfcastle is trapped in the broken wall with his naked rear end visible to everyone outside