Homer at the Bat/Quotes

Quotes

Jose Canseco is walking by a burning house when he hears a baby crying.

Woman: My baby!

Jose Canseco: Have no fear, I will save your baby!

Jose Canseco runs into burning house and emerges with baby.

Woman: Thank you!

Cat mewling is heard.

Woman: My cat!

Jose Canseco: Have no fear, I will save your cat!

Jose Canseco runs into burning house and emerges with cat.

Woman: Thank you!

"The Alley Cat" is heard.

Woman: My old-time Victrola!

Jose Canseco: Oh, brother!

Springfield Hospital. Dr. Hibbert is using a Geiger counter on a sick Mike Scoscia.

Mike Scoscia: Cannot...stand...eat..or compose...sentences.

Dr. Hibbert: Young man, you have acute radiation posioning.

Mike Scoscia: Can...I..play in...tommorow's game?

Dr. Hibbert: Why, you may be dead tommorow and you are wondering if you can play a game? Hoo hoo ha ha!

Nurse: When you are done with him, Doctor, a Ken Griffey Junior needs to see you urgently.

Dr. Hibbert sees Ken Griffey Junior in a wheelchair with an enlarged cranium.

Dr. Hibbert: Good heavens, gigantism!

(Wade Boggs is arguing in Moe's Tavern with a drunken Barney Gumble)

Boggs: "And I say Britain's greatest Prime Minister was Pitt the Elder!"

Barney: "Lord Palmerston!"

Boggs: "Pitt the Elder!"

Barney: "Lord Palmerston!"

Boggs: "PITT-THE-ELDER!!!!"

Barney: "O.K. You asked for it Boggs!"

Barney knocks Boggs out

Moe: "You showed him, Barney! Heh, Pitt the Elder."

Barney: "Lord Palmerston!!!"

(Barney knocks Moe out too)