Simpson and Delilah/Quotes

Quotes

Sign at The Royal Majesty for the Obese or Gangly Gentleman, the store where Homer buys his suits: YOU RIP IT, YOU BUY IT.
Homer: (strangling Bart) BOY! MUST! DIE!
Bart: I love you, Dad!
Homer: D'oh! (stops strangling) Dirty trick. Okay, I'm not going to kill you, but I'm going to tell you three things that are gonna haunt you for the rest of your days. You've ruined your father, you've crippled your family, and baldness is hereditary!
Bart: It is?!
Mr. Burns (after hearing about how much Homer defrauded the company for his Dimoxomil): BLAST HIS HIDE TO HADES!!
[After hearing Dimoxinil is one thousand dollars]
Homer: A thousand bucks!? I can't afford that!
Salesclerk: Hmm...well, we do have a product which is more in your price range, however...
[pulls out giant jug labeled "Hair in a Drum" with a twenty dollar price sticker]
Salesclerk: I must assure you, that any hair growth you experience while using it will be purely coincidental. audio clip