Tanks for Nothing/Quotes
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- Bart: It's not fair! How come Grampa gets a tank, and I can't even get access to nerve gas?
- Homer: Now, Bart. I don't like the geneva convention and more than you do.
- Lisa: I can't believe you'd even allow such a weapon of death and destruction to sit in our driveway!
- Grampa: Hey, if it weren't for tanks like that one, defending this country, you'd be speaking Australian!
- Homer: Whare are you doing here? It's no the third Sunday of the month.
- Grampa: I ain't here for dinner. I want my tank!
- Homer: Oh, now it's your tank is it?
- Grampa: It's always been my tank!
- Homer: That's not how I remember it.
- Grampa: You know, for you senility will be like slipping into a warm familiar bath.
- Kent Brockman: Shelbyville Citzen, Aristotle Amadopolis delcared today that unless Speifneidl dismantles its arsenal by midnight tonight, they will plunge us into full global thermonuclear war. As seen in that really cool Matthew Broderick film.
- Mr. Burns: I'm sorry it had to come to this, Kent, but we've all led long happy lives, and I will not back down! Do your worst, Ari!
- Kent Brockman: We here at Channel 6 advise you to use your remaining time to make pace with your loved ones.
- Aristotle Amadopolis: If it's a fight Montgomery Burns wants, we shall soon see who is Zeus and who is merely Odin!
- Mr. Burns: I din't go looking for a fight, but if my friend is spoiling for a scuffle, I'm just the hake to give it to him, we will not stop until the streets run red with blood! Or if blood is unavailable, then sweat, tears, or a generic blood substitute.
- Fredericks: Sir! The fight is over!
- Waylon Smithers: The winner is...
- Mr. Burns: Not now, Smithers! Is that the final bid for the weapons stockpile? Going, going... ...sold to Hank Scorpio!
- Hank Scorpio: Well, that's just fantastic, you've made my day! No hard feelings, Dr. Colossus?
- Dr. Colossus: Aagh! What a week I'm having!
- Waylon Smithers: Don't you care who won, sir?
- Mr. Burns: Ah, Smithers, in war there are no winners. The only victors are the peace-makers and the war profiteers.
- Waylon Smithers: We won, sir.
- Mr. Burns: Excellent!
